My nose hurts and this is the result

Nakakasawa na rin. Madalas pag kinakamusta ako ng mga kaibigan at kakilala, sunod na tanong pagkatapos ng ‘kamusta ka?’ ay ‘kelan ka manganganak?’ (or permutations of the same questions, phrased as ‘Buntis ka ba?’, ‘Wala pa bang laman yan?).
I did not get married to bear children. That wasn’t the main thing.
Not that I don’t want to have kids. Because I do (really. I– we–want two children, a boy and a girl, and we even have arguments as to which school we’re going to send them to), but right now it’s a very scary thing. I don’t want to subject my children to the kind of society we suffer right now. I feel very hesitant.
I read the newspapers and I want to throw up. And I’m not even pregnant. If I were pregnant and I read about all the stupid, inane and outrageous comments of the various officials of the Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP) about UNHRC special rapporteur on extrajudicial killings Philip Alston’s report, I’d probably miscarry.
Gad. This is an insane government peopled and led by liars, lunatics and killers.
It’s also the election season, and the trapos remember the poor and exploited, and they make the rounds making promises, shaking hands, chucking babies under the chin. I am appalled that Sen. Joker Arroyo sees it better to run under Macapagal-Arroyo than to be an independent or tolerate the Opposition. I am disgusted that boxer Manny Pacquiao is letting himself be used by Arroyo and her handlers - and the same goes for actor Cesar Montano (who really should know better — hasn’t he learned a single thing from the movies he starred in? Muro Ami? Bagong Buwan? Nothing? Not a smidgen?)
I am currently nursing a cold, and my nose is like a leaky faucet. I find it hard to breathe and I have lost most of my appetite. I am impatient and easily tired and right now my nose hurts and it all contributes to my barely-containable disgust with the way things are in the Philippines. I’m reading news reports while I wipe my nose and I’m practically hurting myself reading.
I’m writing without much attention to order or theme right now, but all of my thoughts run in the same direction: I AM DISGUSTED.
My mom just sent me an SMS saying what a hard and difficult life Jose Rizal had. I’m guessing she’s finally gotten around to watching that DVD Rizal biopic my sister have her as one of her Christmas presents. I laughed and texted her back that Andres Bonifacio had it tougher. I can imagine her sighing as she sent her response - "Ang hirap pala maging bayani. You end up dead.’
Oh mom, that is so true. This country is led by false leaders who kill nameless and faceless heroes, those who seek to change the way things are and try to make a difference in how the way things will be by saying, demanding how things should be.
Anyways I’ve gone through an entire roll of tissue paper and the desk is littered with proof of how bad my cold is. Richard Gomez is apparently so clueless that there’s an actual (kahit paano) difference between the administration and the opposition. He says it doesn’t matter much to him whom he runs with. Omigod. And that his running doesn’t have anything to do with his acting. Omigod ulit. I feel my headache getting worse.
Edgardo Angara has reportedly admitted that he’s running under the Arroyo banner because he’s being practical — he wants his votes to be safe. He is, after all, running with a mistress of electoral fraud, so joining forces with her will ensure that his votes will be counted. Oh heck.
Just wiped my nose and I think I’ve rubbed it raw. My upper lip is stinging bloody hell.
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Tomorrow is Friday. Yippee. I like Fridays. Always have. It has to do with my childhood. Friday meant that the next day would be Saturday and there would be Saturday Fun Machine over at Channel 9.
Now I like Fridays because Kim doesn’t have work the next two days and we can hang out a bit and eat pizza or whatever. And I can bitch and moan and complain all I want and he’s there to listen and argue me out of my angry mood.
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