Achieving Happiness

Seven things I want to do before I die

1. Have children and attend their university graduations (have them graduate with honors like, ehem, my husband. Kim delivered a valedictory speech that was NOT what his advisers approved. He attacked the backwardness of science and technology in the country owing to the twisted priorities of the government. The guest speaker from the DOST had conniptions and the faculty almost committed sepuku);

2.Publish at least four books — short fiction, novel, a biography , and one that’s autobiographical;

3.Visit the Louvre;

4. Join a comprehensive medical mission with the International Red Cross;

5. Build houses for the urban poor;

6.  Travel all over Europe; and

7. Witness the victory of the national democratic revolution in the Philippines.

Seven Things I Cannot Do

1.Hide my feelings. If i hate your guts, you’ll definitely know it.

2. Touch my toes. Unless of course am sitting down..I’ve become so inflexible, I miss karate

3. Eat gooey vegetables;

4.Tolerate cruelty to animals;

5. Tolerate cruelty to people;

6. Tolerate primadonnas, gossips, and people who have such high opinions of themselves;

7.Understand why the heck the local media think Gretchen Barreto is an interesting person when she’s actually more shallow  than a child’s plastic paddling pool.

Seven things that attract me to people

1. Sensitivity to the plight of the poor and the oppressed;

2. A healthy sense of humor;

3. More than passing appreciation for literature, art, music and human rights;

4. A propensity to remember sadness and to learn from unhappy memories (this isn’t a good reason to be attracted to anyone, but I’ve noticed this: the friends I am closest to are those who love, say, Morrissey and Sylvia Plath and JD Salinger because they can relate to them and their work);

5.When they can make me shut up and think;

6. When we can spend hours just sitting somewhere drinking tea and talking about whatever and they ACTUALLY LIKE TEA;

7.Long eyelashes, a firm handshake, a warm smile, and ability to maintain an intelligent and interesting conversation EVEN WHEN THE JEEP OR BUS IS MOVING.

Seven things that I say most often

1. Oh, crap

2.  Fuck, fuck fuck fuck am so sorry

3. Anak ng baka naman, oo

4. Utang na loob

5. Yeah, right

6.Holy heck!

7. Hon naman e! (when I argue with my husband)

Seven books I love to read again and again

1. Franny and Zooey, The Catcher in the Rye, Raise High the Roofbeam, carpenters by JD Salinger;

2. Cyrano de Bergerac by Edmond Rostand (sure it’s a play, but hey);

3.The Neverending Story by Michael Ende;

4.The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy;

5.Watership Down by Richard Adams;

6. Eight Cousins, Rose in Bloom by Louisa May Alcott;

7. Oscar and Lucinda by Peter Carey

Seven Movies I never tire of watching

1. Turn Left, Turn Right

2. Pretty in Pink

3. Sakada

4.The Terminator (because of the character Michael Biehn played - Kyle Connor)

5.The Fight Club, American History X because they have Edward Norton in them

6 Before Sunset

7.The Cutting Edge

Rank According to importance - Fame, Power, Riches, good looks — Power, Riches, Fame, Good looks

First thing  thought of when I got up today - "Oh crap, I woke up late again!!!"

One color for everything I owned - Gun -metal grey, white, or oatmeal

Research subject for the rest of my life - International humanitarian law

I am the only person I know who - tries to bring back the past

If I were an animal I’d be - a dolphin

If I had a super power, what would it be? - Invisibility

Things usually in my backpack - fountain pen, ink bottle, journal, MP3 player, digicam, waterbottle, mints, mobile phone

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Go where you find meaning and fulfillment.

Where I find meaning and fulfillment is where I also find much pain and anguish. One never really knows what happiness is until one has gone through barbed-wire-fence experiences. Happiness is often merely the absence of pain, certain skeptics say; often these days I find myself agreeing.

What defines happiness? I remember that question from the days when I was a gawky teenager who signed slumbooks. I wish I had kept some of those old slumbooks so I can reread what I wrote, and compare how my views then differ (probably cheesy, most likely unbearably naive and corny) with how I see and analyze things now.

Happiness is living for others. There is no greater happiness than knowing that your work contributes to a greater whole, a bigger effort to serve humanity, even at the expense of one’s own personal, self-serving ambitions. It’s not a delirious kind of happiness; in fact it’s very quiet and steady and runs through one’s consciousness ever so often as one affirms "this is where I should be, this is where I want to be."

I look at my staff (my kids, I call them), and I see how completely unselfish they are. I am awed  by their sheer willingness to work for others, despite the so many difficulties and frustrations that come with the effort (aaaaaagh!), and they are so self-sacrificing and self-effacing This work, this life in the Kilusan, is what makes them happy.

This is also what makes me happy. Happiness is being a national democrat.

Sat down to a Bayan Muna-led briefing on the charter change issue. Atty. Neri Colmenares of the Counsels for the Defense of Civil Liberties led the discussions, explaining the difference between the Cha-cha proposals being pushed by Reps. Jaraula and Pichay. He also explained what the chances are for the Supreme Court to give in to the pending appeal Sigaw ng Bayan and ULAP are going to file most likely tomorrow (two chances: slim and none; it would be way politically costly for the SC justices who voted against the people’s initiative to reverse their decision. It would appear that they were either cowed by Malacanang, or bribed to change their stand).

I didn’t, don’t see much difference between the Jaraula and the Pichay versions. Both focused on transforming the system of govenrment from presidential to parliamentary; but the authority being given to the proposed office of the prime minister is so vague but encompassing at the same time. The Pichay version does away with the office of the president and the vice president, and the PM is both the head of state and head of government. Jaraula’s proposal still has the president as the main head of state, and the PM mostly acts like the secretary of state even as he heads the parliament.
Both versions do away with the May 2007 elections and ensures that Macapagal-Arroyo remains in power until June 2010.
What is pretty evident in the proposals is this: the amendments all have to do with expanding the powers of those already in power; while weakening the representation of the marginalized sectors in Congress which is officially through the party-list system.
IIn Jaraula’s version, the party-list system is not mentioned at all, like it’s blotted out of existence.
In Pichay’s proposal, the phraseology of the provisions on party-lists and party-list elections is such that the essence of party-list representation is negated: it will be dependent and reliant on the ruling parties. This means that party-lists will actually have to lobby with the winning major parties to get seats in the House.
The number of campaign days is also reduced to 45 days, instead of 90. For district elections, that’s not a problem, but party-lists require a longer period to campaign because their scope is nationwide.
Also noticeable is how the term limits on offices is removed. Three-termers will be allowed to run, and enjoy a few more terms after the other. Ngiii– the corrupt ones will stay forever; as if they weren’t already capable of passing on their offices their close relatives.

To make the proposals less contestable (as if that were possible), the
proposals do not touch hevaily on the economic provisions of the
Constitution. In the Pichay proposal, however, foreign loans and
contracts no longer have to  go through public scrutiny or through
audit. The PM can contract foreign loans without seeking anybody else’s
clearance or approval, not even the Supreme Court’s.

There are many other reasons why now is not the time to amend the charter, and why the charter should not be amended because of the motives and objectives of those calling for the changes. This is not an endeavor  that will benefit the poor majority, or ensure that Filipinos will be given jobs, decent wages, land rights, education or health services. Nowhere in either proposal are there provisions that empower Filipinos to defend their economic well-being and assert their political rights.

The way the charter change proponents talk, they’re trying to make it appear that the issue of amending the constitution is a matter of life and death for the Philippines. In truth, it’s nothing close to being an urgent or critical matter. Amending the law of the land is only crucial to the politicians who want to extend and expand their scope of power and influence. It’s an issue of a few men and women wanting more for themselves, and hang the rest of the Filipino people.

It’s not really the form of government that should be amended; it doesn’t even matter if the head of government is called president or prime minister. The true issue here is the economic programs and thrust and political orientation of govenrment and its officials.
Changing the system of government while the orientation of officials and their programs remain  the same will not make any positive difference for the Philippines or the Filipino people. It doesn’t matter if the amendments (or rather revisions and maybe even complete overhaul) is through constitutional convention, people’s initiative or constitutional assembly.

Under the current set-up wherein the same names and families and groups and  interests hold are in power, the government — parliamentary or presidential — will continue to be corrupt and anti-national. The interest of foreign multilateral trade and finance agencies will still be considered way ahead of the welfare of workers, farmers, and urban and rural poor. The budget will continue to be directed towards war expenditures and foreign debt payments. The Philippines will remain a neocolony of the United States, and officials will continue to obey the dictates of big business groups and their foreign investment partners.

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The Democrats are winning, have won. Oh for Bush to be immediately booted out of office! I hope the impeachment campaign against Bush will be reinvigorated and strengthened. The point should be driven home that the American people have had enough of Bush and the Republicans (not that all Democrats are  the epitome of honesty and humanity, but generally they’re better than the Republicans and their center-to-rightist views), their lies and excuses about the way the American economy is going, and of course,  and Bush’s war against Iraq and other nations asserting sovereignty and independence.

The Republican Party has even begun to distance itself from Bush (bwahaha. Utang na loob); but it’s way too late. Apart from the bloodshed (
The human costs are said to be staggering — not only for the Iraqi people, but even for the  US forces, contractors and families. Estimates peg the loss this way:  for every month the war in Iraq is extended, 100 American soldiers killed, 500 American
soldiers are maimed and over 4,000 Iraqis die) the war in Iraq and the attempts at supposed nation-rebuilding have created a debt burden of  US$340 billion. 

I wanted to write an entry about ‘The Prestige’ the other night right after I watched it, but I got so sleepy so I ended up just posting these pictures. In any case, I enjoyed the movie and I appreciated the effort the makers did in telling a genuine story with a genuine plot (although the last scene where Robert Angiers gives this confession about his obsession with fooling his audience, his wish to suspend their skepticism and disbelief about magic WHILE HE HAS A BULLET IN HIS GUT was way too corny for me. It was like something from a Pinoy action movie starring, say, Lito Lapid).

Anyways. The concepts of competition and obsession. I don’t care about the first (with whom do I have to compete and for what? Actually I compete with myself and try to rid my countless weaknesses and fears); but the second is quite interesting to me.

There are interests, hobbies, passions and obsessions. Under each category I have at least three entries; but under the last? I don’t know if I have anything to put there. Obsession, aside from being the name of an expensive perfume, is such a dangerous thing to have. It’s a force that is so overwhelming one takes leave of one’s better self, one’s logic and rationality and even concern for others, for one’s nearest and dearest even.

I wonder if i could ever be obsessed with anything. I’m such a sloth that even the things I am passionate about I often neglect — like reading or writing; or my work in the Movement. I tend to slow down sometimes and hibernate like a bear, and it’s not even anywhere near winter. I tend to dawdle and daydream, to muse over things in the past but seldom contemplate about the future. I live from day to day without much thought about what  might happen tomorrow. I’m dead certain that if it were not for the Movement, I would’ve ended up washing dishes in a five-star hotel or operating a laundrymat: doing repitive tasks that do not require much thought actually affords one time to daydream.

Obsession keeps one moving, but blindly , an often with viciousness and ruthlessness.

Jovito Palparan, now there’s a man who has an obsession.

He is so obsessed with destroying the Communist Party of the Philippines and the New People’s Army that he tags everyone who speaks against the government and its atrocities against the human and civil rights of Filipinos as communist or as NPA members. Anyone who protests against their union rights being violated, or those who assert their right to own the land they till, or those who defend their right to make a living from being fishermen, or vendors, or teachers, etc  and not allow themselves to be exploited or abused is a target.

Hey man, do you see me  holding a gun? No? Oh,okay, so it’s how I talk? Or how i write? Oh it’s what I write and what I say? And what I stand for? Because I speak out against this killer government and what it does to the poor and exploited? All  that makes me an NPA member? Automatically communist? And by your suspicions alone, I deserve to die. Goodie.

Gloria Arroyo is also obsessed. And maybe even actually delusional already.

whoops work beckons end of the break

Kim has been pestering me all week to blog about the Japanese play we saw last weekend in Ayala. It was ‘Yaji and Kita,’ and it was entirely in Japanese. It’s based on an old Japanese film that was turned into a comic book and then into a play and then a modern movie again.
It’s completely lunatic and hippy and bizarre and if you don’t have a sense of the ridiculous and the inane, you’ll get impatient watching it. It’s the equivalent of watching a regular, straightforward one-cat play, only you’re on drugs , or the players are, or the rest of the audience is. It’s a riot.
To start off, the entire thing was in Nihonggo. The two and only characters — Yaji, a druggie, and Kita, his best buddy and lover (in the movies they’e evidently lovers because Kita is guilty for leaving his wife and child for Yaji and he keeps having to assure the latter that he loves him) spout, mutter, scream, whisper, say and sing their lines in Japanese. Ever so often there’d be floating pieces of illustration board where Filipino phrases, translations supposedly of the dialogue coming out of the walls, the tatami floor and it’s all wonderfully choreographed that it doesn’t seem  choreographed at all.
With only these felt-tipped penned-cardboard signs and the actions (contortions, acrobatics, gentle movements, sudden dance numbers) does the audience understand the plot and what Yaji and Kita want: to get to Ise, or paradise; and for Yaji to cut his addiction. They want to find ‘the new reality’  and ‘discover who they really are.’
Imagine a comic book transformed into a play! Yaji and Kita succeeds brilliantly in doing this, and it’s quite mindblowing to see the two players convince the audience of the existence of objects not really there — to see a gigantic ramen noodle wiggle through the shoji screens; to hear a waiter deliver the noodles, and to feel how cold and worrisome it is outside where the rain falls without consideration for flower or person.   

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Am trying to get up the nerve to buy the book "Wicked" by Gregory Maguire. It’s been turned into a musical (it was the musical that Avenue Q beat in 2003 for the Tony Best Musical award), and I would really like to read the book first before I  hear the soundtrack.

Wikipedia has a very good entry on Wicked.Am so lazy so you guys just read it and you’ll know why I want to read the book (that costs P745 in Powerbooks, gad). It reveals a whole new angle to the story of the Wizard of Oz and the character we all grew up hating and fearing, the Wicked Witch of the West (she owned the red shoes that Dorothy used to get back home to Kansas. She was the witch Dorothy’s house landed on in Munchinkinland).

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I spent last Monday accompanying the staff of the Public Interest Law Center (PILC) file a motion
for Ka Bel in the Supreme Court. The motion is a request for certiorari, and the imposition of a temporary restraining order on the hearings on rebellion and sedition charges against Ka Bel.
We lugged some 20 copies of the petitions, and each set had around 200 pages each. Imagine how heavy that is!
I was told that to reproduce copies of petitions (copies of which are required to be given each individual directly involved with the case such as the court judges, the lawyers, etc) it takes at least P15,000. Holy heck.
It’ s downright imposible for poor people to file charges and seek justice from courts. Most people don’t have the money for the photocopying fees alone. The  country’s judicial system can be said to be biased against the poor for that one reason alone.
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I agree with Luli Arroyo when she called attention to the NAIA immigration official who let a foreigner cut in and ignore the other passengers who were standing in line. I agree that NAIA employees (a lot of them) could use a lesson in common courtesy and politeness. When I got home last month, I had a annoying time having to deal with the airport staff, many of whom were either surly or impatient (they do raise their voices, and they don’t even freaking smile). i know how hard it must be to work in an airport, but heck, they shouldn’t take it out on the passengers. It doesn’t hurt anyone to be polite, and it’s only professionalism to obey proper procedures and observe common courtesies. I really believe that people who do shoddy work have no pride in themselves and in their employment; and while there are, admittedly, a hundred reasons why government employees can be pissed off with their jobs, it’s still important to remember that they are government employees and they are there to serve the public. nevermind that the executive of the government they’re under is a thief, a liar, a cheat and a human rights violator.
Anyways, I wish, however, that Luli would already forgive the man. He’s 60 years old and up for retirement, and this is a very good opportunity to show some compassion and basic kindness. The lesson has been dealt and learned, and now is the time for a show of magnanimity.