Achieving Happiness

Across me sits my husband, pen and notebook in hand, doodling computations for something I will never be able to understand.
There’s a typhoon coming, so we’re making the best of the still more-or-less-normal weather (what passes for normal in this humid, polluted city).
I’ve been told that it’s 26 days to Christmas. We’re not putting up a tree or hanging decorations or anything remotely Christmassy. It’s not that I like it this way — it’s that Kim likes it this way: no fuss and frills. I could insist and get a tree and hang a small lantern, but it wouldn’t be any fun because I’ll be on my own doing all the appreciating ("Ooooh, isn’t it pretty? Well? Well? Say something, goddamit!").
I miss the feeling I used to get whenever December was coming around. I used to feel all quietly, tingly happy thinking that Christmas was around the corner. I used to love racking my brains and figuring out what to get my parents and my sister Majalla. I liked picking out the wrapping paper, the boxes, stashing and hiding the loot in the aparador, under the piles of socks and t-shirts. I liked  writing Christmas cards, and going all the way to the Main Post Office in Liwasang Bonifacio to get stamps, etc. I liked picking out Christmas music tapes and CDs and playing them…
Now, well, every thing’s changed; or more aptly, I’ve changed, and it’s sad because I miss feeling like a kid all breathy and happy and looking foward to December 24 midnight when I would give out my gifts and hope hope hope that my parents and sister like what I got them.
Christmas is really for kids. Sigh.

—–

Watched Happy Feet the other night. I haven’t made it a secret how much I love Emperor penguins; and ‘Happy Feet’ made me love them all the more. Imagine a penguin chick tapdancing; all fat and round and fluffy and tapdancing!

The movie tries for an environmentalist twist; but it falls a bit short because all it points out is that there’s too much fishing going on in the Antarctic and the penguins are starving because of it. Still and all, it was a good effort (kahit medyo pilit) because the children in the audience at least learned that ‘it’s wrong to throw garbage in the sea’ and ‘big ships catch too many fish that’s meant for penguins.’ In the documentary ‘March of the Penguins,’ it was pointed out that one of the biggest threats to  the survival of Emperors and other species living in the poles is global warming and pollution.

I have a mug with a design of five penguins trying to rollerskate. It’s 10 years old and it’s my favorite mug ever.

Gad, I don’t feel too smart tonight. I suppose my brain is tired from trying to think of too many weighty things all at the same time. I just want to sit here and drink tea and watch cartoons and eat junkfood and wish that I could control my temper better. I have been advised that I should eat more bananas because bananas help fight depression and sluggishness. I wonder if monkeys are the happiest creatures on earth?

—-

Things bothering me right now

1. The Philippine National Police is demanding that Ka Bel be taken out of the Philippine Heart Center and transferred back to Camp Crame.

2. Administration allies are hell-bent on holding a constitutional assembly before the Christmas break.

3. Outgoing defense chief Avelino Cruz admits that Macapagal-Arroyo wanted to impose martial law last November and February, only she didn’t because the US didn’t agree and said that it would not support the move.

4. Typhoon coming. More death and destruction and the national government will not be able to provide immediate relief to the would-be victims (nothing unexpected or suprising about that…)

5.The European Union says it willing to give training and funding to help solve the political killings (send in the CSI teams from Las Vegas, New York and Miami).

6. Our electricity bill has reached P980 when the kilowatt hours we used up this November was the same as last month’s, but we’re being charged TWICE the amount as October’s bill.

Happy, happy day yesterday! Am so glad that we were able to give Ka Bel and Ka Osang that one beautiful, happy day at least. They deserved it after all they’ve gone through in 50 years.
It was a real wedding, complete with squalling babies, toddlers running around, gossiping relatives, a teary-eyed bride, and the rings almost getting lost.
It was also a not-your-usual-ceremony also because, well, there was a platoon of police with long firearms; guests had to have their bags and gifts checked before they could enter the building; and taking pictures and videos were not allowed (As you can surmise, that particularly stupid rule was violated — Dr. Ganni Tapang was a savior and used his hi-tech phone to document the hour-long mass; while around 10 others (relatives, staff, friends) succeeded to smuggle in their small digicams.
I myself just lied that I had a camera when they asked me if I had one in my very heavy backpack. I said all I had was a laptop (’And could you please not poke around too much the bag because the laptop might break?" They backed off).
Anyways, it didn’t rain, around 150 people were able to stand witness during the renewal of vows (half of whom stood outside the chapel which was small), the reception was a huge success (gad I regret not having eaten because the food looked really, really good and all conversation stopped dead when the eating began in earnest; but I was too tired to eat. The superstaff led by Tin-Tin, Lyn, Lorna etc were also exhausted, and I doubt Tin was able to eat more than a moutful).
Ka Bel, I think, was the saddest that day, though. He had to stay behind at the hospital when we all left for the reception. ^&%$#@%*  Makati Regional Trial Court 150 didn’t allow him to leave the hospital even for a few hours. Gad - they allow Estrada to go out and visit his mom, play mahjong with friend, etc, why didn’t they let Ka Bel attend his ONCE IN A LIFETIME 50th anniversary wedding reception?!!!
Anyways.
Am very grateful to Senate Pres. Manny Villar, Sen.Joker Arroyo, Mayor Binay, Mayor Belmonte and former vice-president Teofisto Guingona for attending and standing as major sponsors. It made my day seeing Sen. Arroyo walk up the corridor with confidence and head directly to Ka Bel and shake his hand.
——–
Ka Bel’s children and grandchildren are so talented! They danced, recited poetry, emceed the program. They’re practically a showbiz clan, the Beltrans. There was a ballet number that was so beautiful.
——
Thank you thank you thank you to Tambisan sa Sining, Pisara (Walkie sang ‘Moon River’ and she wounded wonderful, as always) People’s Chorale, KMU and its federations and allied labor institutions. Thank you to Ka Mon Ramirez and Dr. Gani and Lisa for taking pictures.
And thank you so much to Ka Bel and Ka Osang for being such inspirations to us.

It’s 6:35 am: do you know where your brain is?
Mine is still sleeping, but I’ve been forced to get up by circumstances, namely the fact that there’s so much work to do and I’m freezing from the aircon.
I am officially hungry.
And I can feel my eyeballs moving independent of each other (slept at three am).
This is my morning writing exercise to jumpstart my brain, but so far it isn’t working.
I’ve been writing about weddings and marriages all this past week: Nato and Beng’s, Ka Bel and Ka Osang’s. Hmmm. It isn’t June, is it? It’s November…
News - GMA in the hospital for the third time in five months,hoah!
Spindoctors and literal doctors are all defensive in saying that there’s nothing to worry about. Isa lang ang masasabi ko - yeah right! She never used to go to the doctor and get frequent cheeckups, now she goes three times in the last five months?! Something is rotten in the state of Denmark, wouldn’t you say?
I know it’s mean, I know it’s UnChristian (my mother keeps admonishing me for this- for being UnChristian in my anger and yes, this is how I personally spell the word) of me, but I wish wish wish there was something terminal going on with Macapagal-Arroyo’s health. Hey, there’s no love lost between myself and her, and because of her and her witch-doings, my boss is in jail and hundreds  of political activists and human rights advocates have been brutally killed. Let’s not even mention the hundreds of children, wives, husbands who have been traumatized by the loss….
Anyways, so there: I wish GMA ill. I wish her the sort of disease that Dr. Gregory House specializes in, only in her case, not even House can diagnose and cure it. I will eat cake and ice cream if and when GMA kicks the bucket in, oh, say in the next few weeks.
Yes, yes - I am UnChristian in my thoughts this morning.
—
I didn’t get married in Church. I got married in City Hall.
Still and all, I wish I got to wear a wedding gown!!! Sigh. At least my Barbie’s wearing a wedding dress.


This is a dress by Vera Wang. It’s the kind of wedding gown I would wear.
Maybe when I have my 50th wedding anniversary… Hopefully by then Kim would’ve mellowed down some and be less…practical, strict and agnostic.

These are my favorite roses — yellow tea roses. Good for a bouquet, eh?

These  are  some of  the pictures  we’ve scanned from Ka Bel and Ka Osang’s photo albums. We also scanned some of the letters Ka wrote and send to his  wife and children, and to officials of government such as former President Ferdinand Marcos.

Unknown to many,Ka Bel is a very good writer, and he has the energy for writing long letters and essays.  One of these days I will encode his letters (and include them in the book we’re trying to write about him and his life).

It’s almost 2 am and am still up.

Actually, am barely keeping myself awake. Tomorrow - I mean, later– we will be holding the celebration for Ka Bel’s 50th wedding anniversary. So many preparations on top of everything else.

I am compelled to write this: Ka Bel has so much love for his wife and family that it’s heartbreaking in a happy way. His letters to them are so full of love even as he gently chides his children (now in their 40s) and his wife (whom he married when she was only 14 and he himself 23) and reminds them that they should strive hard at school and home, and to help one another.

Reading his letters brings tears to my eyes, and I feel a very strong twinge around the regions of my heart. He has always been a good father and a loving husband first; the Movement made him a better man, and thus a better father and more than just a husband to Ka Osang — a comrade.

Ka Bel spoils Ka Osang; and Ka Osang relies too much on Ka Bel. They admit this, both of them. But for all the problems and troubles they’ve been through, underneath it all is this: a deep love tempered by love for the Movement. Weaknesses in their relationship caused by personal failings they’ve battled long and hard and continue to battle every day: Ka Bel and Ka Osang may have aged outwardly, but to each other, they will always be 23 and 14.

                                 Am so sleepy

Though a political
detainee for the second time, Ka Bel will  renew vows with Ka Osang on Sunday, November 26.Limangpung taon ng pagsasama, 50 taon ng pag-ibig at pakibika.

Close family, friends and
supporters will  stand witness as colleagues
and comrades in Anakpawis Party-list and the Free Ka Bel Movement (FKBM) throw a small but heartfelt gathering for political detainee and
Anakpawis Representative Crispin B. Beltran and his wife and partner Mrs.
Rosario Soto-Beltran on Sunday, November 26, 2006. The gathering will be in
tribute of the couple who celebrated their 50th Golden wedding anniversary last
November 16. There will a  renewal of vows ceremony  and a  short mass.

The original venue of the
celebration was the Balai Kalinaw inside the UP Diliman Campus. Makati Regional
Trial Court Branch 150 headed by Judge Elmo Alameda, however, turned down the
petition of Ka Bel’s lawyers that Ka Bel be allowed to leave the premises of
the Philippine Heart Center for a few hours to attend the mass, short program
and reception.

Ka Bel and
Ka Osang will instead renew their marriage vows at the Catholic chapel of the
Philippine Heart Center, and the reception will be held at the Balintataw Garden inside the Parks and Wildlife park in Quezon City. The groom won’t be able to join his bride for the reception, but hey, ganyan talaga ang malupit na gobyerno ni Gloria Arroyo.

  Ka Bel and Ka Osang’s friends,
families and colleagues are working very hard to make this event a happy and
memorable one for the couple. Ka Bel and Ka Osang have been through so much
together; this is the second time that Ka Bel has been arrested and
detained for a prolonged period. The first time was in August 1982, when Ka Bel
was arrested by the military along with other labor leaders of the Kilusang
Mayo Uno. He was incarcerated for two
years.

The couple already had 10 children
when Ka Bel was jailed. Ka Osang kept the rest of the family alive with
donations from KMU and sympathizers. She also sold fish and slippers in the market. Then, like
now, they lived in the squatters’ community in Gao, Commonwealth, Quezon City
Ka Osang walked from Commonwealth to Crame, where Ka Bel was detained.

Most of the food that will be
served tomorrow are gifts and offerings. Karamihan luto o regalo ng mga
nagmamahal kina Ka Bel at Ka Osang. Guests will be served lechon, pasta
carbonara, pansit bihon, spaghetti, baked macaroni, chocolate cake,
chicken lollipop, fresh lumpia, fried lumpia, sandwiches, fruit salad, fruit
juice and softdrink.

  As for Ka Bel who is watching his
heart and his blood pressure, he will only be having salad and the fresh
lumpia. Maybe if he begs for lechon we would let him have some.

Invited to be the primary sponsors are former Vice-President Teofisto
Guingona; Senate President Manny Villar; Senate Minority Leader Aquilino Pimentel, Jr., Sen. Jamby Madrigal
Sen. Joker Arroyo; Zamboanga del Sur Rep. Roseller Barinaga; Albay
Rep. Edcel Lagman; Las Pinas Rep.
Cynthia Villar; Cebu Rep. Clavel Martinez; Anakpawis Rep. Rafael Mariano, mga
kinatawan ng Bayan Muna na sina Satur Ocampo, Joel Virador at Teddy Casino;
Rep. Teofisto Guingona III; Makati
Mayor Jejomar Binay; Quezon City Mayor Sonny Belmonte; National
Artist for Literature Dr. Bienvenido Lumbera; Public Interest Law Center
President Atty. Romeo Capulong; Dr.
Lenny Jara;  KMU chair Elmer Labog, Bayan Muna President Dr.
Reynaldo Lesaca; Nenita Gonzaga, Norma Binas, at si Atty. Gregorio Fabros.

The mass will be jointly officiated by Kairos president Fr.
Joe Dizon at Fr. Ferdie Punaller.

Some 200 people representing various
people’s organizations as well as other
colleagues from Congress as expected to attend.

So many have expressed their wish
to see Ka Bel and greet him and Ka Osang for their special gathering, but we
can’t have everyone attend because of
the small venue and the security considerations. All of Ka Bel’s 11, children,
27 grandchildren and three great grandchildren, however, will be able to
attend.

The couple chose gold and red as
the motif colors for the celebration. Gold because it’s their golden anniversary and the color of the flame of
the sulo in the logo of Anakpawis which Ka Bel continues to lead as its
chairman. Red because it’s the color of relentless struggle and sacrifice; and
also because it’s the color of unabiding love.

In the meantime,  the Supreme Court has still to act on the last
motion filed by Beltran’s lawyers calling on High Court to lay down a temporary restraining order and a writ of
preliminary injunction to restrain the Macapagal-Arroyo administration represented
by the Department of Justice and its secretary Raul Gonzales from proceeding with Criminal Case No.
06-452, or charges of rebellion against Ka Bel. We filed  the case last October 30.

Ka Bel’s lawyers Atty. Capulong, Atty.
Amylyn Sato and Atty. Rachel Pastores as well as everyone in Ka Bel’s circle of
friends and family (including their pet dogs and puppues) are urging the High
Court to set aside the Orders dated May 31, 2006 issued by Makati RTC Judge
Encarnacion Jaja G. Moya and the Order dated August 29, 2006 issued by Judge
Elmo M. Almeda which denies Ka Bel’s Motion for Reconsideration. We also seek
the High Court’s intervention by having it enjoin respondents Judge Alameda and
Sec. Gonzalez, from proceeding with the rebellion case.

Our attorneys  filed a
special civil action for Certiorari and Prohibition under Sections 1 and 2 of
Rule 65 of the 1997 Rules of Civil Procedure.

Ka Bel’s family and supporters
enjoin the SC to set aside and annul the
May 31, 2006 Order issued by respondent Judge Moya which finds probable cause against Ka Bel for the
crime of rebellion; and the setting aside and annulment of the August 29, 2006
order by Judge Alameda, denying Ka Bel’s Motion for Reconsideration of the May 31, 2006 order.

  Gonzalez is in charge of the
prosecution against Rep. Beltran.Judge Moya is the presiding judge of RTC Makati, Branch 146 Judge Alameda is the presiding judge of
Makati Branch 150.

Ka Bel’s counsels have been
consistently arguing since February when Rep. Beltran was first arrested, there
are no records to show that he was ‘lawfully arrested.’

Ka Bel was not arrested for rebellion but for the
alleged charge of inciting to sedition, in gross violation of his
constitutional privilege of immunity from arrest; none of the ‘arresting’
officers had any ‘personal knowledge’ of facts indicating that petitioner
attended a meeting on February 20, 2006 with 1Lt. San Juan and form a tactical
alliance to overthrow the government.

Despite the complete failure of the
prosecution to refute Rep. Beltran’s defenses, if not its silence, on the valid
issues ka Bel and his attorneys raised, the judges continue to turn a blind eye to these and the glaring
infirmities in the case for the prosecution, in grave abuse of discretion amounting to lack or excess of
jurisdiction and to the enormous prejudice of Ka Bel.

Atty. Sato and Atty. Pastores have also said that Judge Alameda acted unreasonably
and with grave abuse of discretion in denying Beltran’s motion for
reconsideration despite lack of probable cause and the fatal defects of the
case for the prosecution.

They say that it’s clear that Ka Bel
is being denied plain, speedy and adequate remedy in the ordinary course of
law. The respondents — led by Sec. Gonzales – and Ka Bel’s accusers and
prosecutors are   causing grave and irreparable damage to Ka Bel’s
  constitutional rights unless injunctive
relief is given  him via he issuance of a
writ of preliminary injunction and/or temporary restraining order stopping
Gonzales et al   from proceeding with the hearing and/or any
other stage of this fake criminal case.

Not once during the entire time Ka
Bel’ case has been heard have the RTCs in charge laid down any decision that
had any semblance to being fair and just. Ka Bel has been incarcerated for
nine months now, and every single day
that he remains under detention affirms how extreme the political repression is
in the Philippines.
He is not guilty of anything but serving his constituents faithfully and
well.

Department of Health secretary Francisco Duque III and the Philippine government should not give in to pressure of the US Chamber of Commerce over the issue of firmer guidelines against the prescription of infant milk formulas.
According to reports, the US Chamber led by its president and CEO Thomas Donahue wrote Malacanang expressing protest against the DOH’s implementing rules and regulations on the marketing of milk formula.The chamber has been reported as stating that if the DOH proceeds with
implementing regulations on the marketing of infant formula, the
Philippines ‘ reputation will be tarnished.
This is such a  clear case of foreign investors cracking the whip on the Philippine government over issues concerning their businesses, but with immediate impact on the health and well-being of Filipinos.  This is US monopoly-capitalism exposing its true character: profit above else including the lives of children.


The US Chamber of Commerce has no right to protest against such a regulation that the Philippine government through its health department seeks to implement for the direct benefit of Filipino mothers and their children. To US milk formula companies investing in the Philippines, the IRR is nothing but a barrier to their profit-making, but to millions of Filipino babies and young children and their mothers, this is an issue between life and death. Under no circumstances should the DOH give in to this pressure and instead proceed with the implementation of the IRR.
The Philippine government should assert itself and defend the DOH’s IRR regardless of what foreign milk companies and investors say. Foreign companies already hold a firm monopoly in the milk industry in the Philippines, and their aggressive media and ad campaigns promoting infant formula has resulted to generations of weak and sickly babies susceptible to malnutrition and diseases. They should be held responsible for this. The least the national government can do is to write a firm response to the letter saying that it stands pat on its decision to impose regulations on the promotion and sale of infant formula.
The DOH’s continuing campaign for the promotion of breastfeeding among young mothers should be supported. In fact, it’s the only   government campaign worth supporting. More funds should be allocated for health and information programs such as this that aim to inform mothers of the crucial importance of breastfeeding.

Renato  Reyes is getting married. Boy, am really getting old, and nevermind that I’m married myself. Nato tying the knot is the thing that really
drove the point home: the then 17-year old friend who was most influential in my transition from
ordinaryong-nilalang-na-may-ambisyong-magpayaman to aktibista-laging-walang-pera-pero-at-least-masaya is now 31 and officially saying good-bye
to singlehood and starting a new phase in his life.

Nato’s a public personality. Of
course he’s not a celebrity in the way, say, Sam Milby is (selling hotdogs,
facial soap, mobile phonecards and generally being a media, uh, prostitute);
but he’s well known because of his political advocacy and how he is a credible
and worthy spokesperson on the progressive mass movement he represents.

His public persona — firm negotiator for rallyists when
they’re blocked by the police and military; well-read resource person on issues
as diverse as national sovereignty, charter change and musical traditions;
thorough campaign officer and one of the youngest  to become secretary-general
of the Bagong Alyansang Makabayan – is but a hard shell that covers an
essentially mushy interior.

Among all movie and literary
characters, Nato relates most to the  John Cusack character Rob Gordon in the film version of
Nick Hornby’s ‘High Fidelity.’ Hence, the fact that he’s getting married is
really a big deal. He’s had three, four relationships that either quietly
imploded or spectacularly exploded; and I myself have been witness to his slow,
circuitous process of self-questioning and ‘why oh why the hell didn’t it
work?!’ assessment. Like I once threatened him, I could blackmail him over all
the knowledge I have about how he falls in love and goes slightly crazy when it doesn’t work out (Remember that girl back in college you lent my comic books
to, Nato? The one who played bongos? Harharhar!).
         But that’s all blissfully in the
past. Nato has had his share of broken hearts and nights of sleeplessness; but
now he’s happy and on the way to even more happiness.So to whom is Nato
committing to share the rest of his life to?
            Her name is Geneve Emata Rivera, or
as she is known to her colleagues and Kasamas in the Health Alliance for
Democracy (HEAD), “Beng.”

I myself know very little about
Beng except that she’s a bona fide doctor and that she has a lovely smile. I am
certain that she has more beautiful qualities apart from the smile that made
Nato fall in love with her, and perhaps in the future I will have more
opportunities to know her better; but at this point, it’s Nato who’s my main
source of insight on Beng.

  The mind-musical meld

Nato says that his compatibility
with Beng is ‘mind-boggling.’ Beng rates their compatibility a nine on a scale
of one to 10.

“From the first time I met
her, I thought that Beng was different
from any woman I’ve met,” he says.

Beng, for her part, says that she
realized that Nato was the man for her after their first year together as a
couple. “Halos wala kaming pinag-aawayan at ang gaan ng mga bagay-bagay para sa
kin dahil sa kanya, naisip ko, siya na nga!”

Nato and
Beng were introduced to each other during a press conference where he found out
that she was a doctor. Having a corny
sense of humor, Nato approached Beng with what he fooled himself into thinking
as a ‘creative pick-up line’ -  “Doc, may sakit ako….’

“It hardly made a dent on her; but we went out that same night with some
friends. We went out with friends, and we performed a song by Sheryl Crow
called Strong Enough. I felt that there
was something there. We clicked musically, and there was something about her that drew me  closer. I couldn’t sleep
that night. This feeling was reinforced during our trip to Hacienda Luisita on
November 15, 2004 . I got to know her better during the long ride to Tarlac,”
he said.

It’s not
known whether Nato made deliberate moves to get Beng to sit next to him on the
three-hour trip to the Haciend Luisita picketline, but what’s certain is that
he learned a lot about her during the car ride, and what he learned, he liked.
He wanted to know her more, and looked forward to the coming days when he could
see and talk more to Beng.

The next day, however, found Nato
crashing down to earth.

There was a picket in front of the
Department of National Defense (DND) and Nato was already late. He got on a
cab, and while waiting for the traffic to move, his celphone beeped.

It was a text message from Beng,
only it wasn’t for him.

“It was a missent. Beng was texting her then boyfriend.I was
hurt. It was a day of mishaps bevause it turned out that I had left my wallet
at home so I had no money to pay the cab,” he says.

Nato didn’t go to the picket
anymore. “I went home sad. I was under the impression kasi na she was single.
Turned out she was already engaged,” he shares.

            It’s a long telenovella with sudden twists and turns and
dramatic moments how he and Beng finally
got together. At the beginning, both
sides friends discouraged closeness from developing between the two.

Walkie (Mirana-Africa, of the
Alliance of Concerned Teachers or ACT), a close friend, cautioned Nato against pursuing Beng
because the latter had a boyfriend and was in fact already engaged.

“Alangan namang maging mang-aagaw
si Nato,” she says. “It was like the plot of one of those quirky Korean movies
he liked to watch where the boy jumps off the train for the girl, but the girl
doesn’t see until it’s too late and she
gets on, train moves on, and the boy is left flat on the station pavement
looking stupid. It was a hard time for
him, but also for his friends who knew that Nato had already gone through a
series of hellish relationships. We didn’t want him to get himself hurt again, so
of course we discouraged him. In the end,  it worked out for best. They were patient, and napatunayan nila na they really wanted to be with each other.”

Nato admits that it took months and
months before things got ok. Inevitably, it was Beng who had to make the
hardest decisions. Deciding to be with Nato meant letting go of a relationship
with a person she cared very much about. It also meant rethinking her priorities because being
with Nato also meant embracing her activism more.

“ It was a
very difficult time for me and her, more so for her. She sacrificed a lot and
went through a lot of difficult decisions on what she wanted to do with her
life in the Movement. Me, I had to look back on all the harsh lessons from my
previous experiences and tried not repeat them. She had to struggle hard to decide whether she wanted to take a chance with me or not.
I had to wait (which is something I’m not so good at). We don’t really have an
anniversary for when we became a couple. Our point of reference has always been
the Nov.15 trip to Hacienda Luisita,” Nato says.

“Nothing
has been easy for us, from the time we met, up to the time we decided to get
married. Marriage in the activist context means a lot more difficulty. It is
this difficulty, the sacrifice and commitment, which also makes activist
marriage meaningful. We know there is a lot of sacrifice involved, a lot of
trials and abnormal situations. We wouldn’t have it any other way.”

  Beng jokes that she’s always wanted
to get married to a ‘good provider’ (“Which is something Nato isn’t, mwahahaha!”).

“Seryoso, hindi rin naman si Nato
ang tipong maghuhugas ng pinggan at magwawalis, e. Basta lang maging malawak
ang pang-unawa nya sa mga demands ng trabaho ko, yun lang ang hinihingi ko sa
kanya. I’ve  had a fulfilling life as a
single person and now I am ready for this chapter in my life na may kasama at
may kadamay sa mga kalokohang gusto ko pang gawin, at si Nato iyon.”

 
The lessons of the closing phase of singleton life

Nato’s 31 years old, and he admits
that before he met Beng he made a lot of mistakes when it comes to love and
relationships. For all his intelligence and sharpness when it comes to the
political line on issues affecting economics and politics in the context of
social struggle, Nato, when it comes to the politics of love has been something
of a dunce.

“All those experiences taught me
the things that really matter in a relationship and what to look for in a woman, given my involvement in the
Movement. These experiences made me appreciate love within the Kilusan, love that
is not just for love’s sake, but for a greater cause. I was so attracted to the
idea of being in love. I learned that that attraction or love itself weren’t enough, especially given my work and
responsibilities. I learned things the hard way. I was actually pathetic. Lots of John Cusack-High Fidelity moments,” he sheepishly admits.

Beng, 32, also had three official
failed relationships behind her; but Nato, he says, was a revelation to her.

“Nung una, medyo mayabang, at akala
ko bakla, hahahaha! Pero later on, hindi naman pala. What I like most about him
is, napapakalma nya ako pag mainit na ang ulo ko at napapagaan niya ang mga
mabibigat para sa kin. Mahalaga din sa akin ang pagiging musikero niya at yung
hindi kami nauubusan ng pag-uusapan, kahit ano lang, minsan para na lang kaming
mga baliw…”

 
The wedding on November 22

Nato describes his upcoming wedding as ‘Simple, pero rock.’
He and Beng have poured much energy into turning their wedding ceremony and reception into cross
between a rally and a rock concert.

“We’re getting married at the UP parish of the Holy
Sacrifice. Simple rites but with lots of music. It’s a labor of love by all our family and
friends,” he says.

And the effort of all these friends and family members are
all very visible. The wedding
invitation is laid-out like a concert ticket, was made by Sinag de Jesus.
Nato has also made full use of his contacts in the alternative progressive
music world and succeed in getting legend Lolita carbon to sing the Bridal march. Jess Santiago and Jess Bartolome will sing during
the marriage rites.

“All our friends whom we perform with will also sing!”

Nato and Beng has shunned the traditional bridal car and
instead they will be riding a UP IKOT jeep from the church to the reception
which will be held at the UP Bonsai Garden.

“There will be a mini-concert in the evening where our band
friends will perform. The soundsystem and bandset (same kind we use in rallies) will be rented to us for
free. The art work that will be put in
display during the wedding and reception are courtesy of artists Ed Manalo,
Orly Castillo, Boy Dominguez and UP Fine Arts Dean Niel Doloricon. The venue we got at a lower rate thanks to the
help of Dean Paz and daughter Marty,” he
says.

True to the
tradition of ‘simpleng pamumuhay’, Nato and Beng will be serving simple but
filling food: pancit palabok and a
choice between puto’t dinuguan or lumpia. Desert will be kakanin, and dalandan juice and sago’t
gulaman for drinks. The wedding
souvenirs, in the meantime, are courtesy of the political prisoners of the
National Bilibid Prison.

“We just want to share the moment with our family and
friends in the Struggle. We’re excited about the mini-concert though, and look
forward to jamming with friends.”

In his own words, Nato describes
the primary witnesses (or like it says in their cool, hippie-psychedelic
invitation, Upang Sumaksi, Mga Ninong at Ninang”): Former vice-president
Teofisto Guingona( “A true nationalist); Dr. Carol Araullo (“BAYAN chair, and
one who understands me more than most people”); Rep. Satur Ocampo (“The man went through a lot of trials himself and his partnership with Ms. Bobbi
Malay went through a lot of difficulties
during his time in detention under Martial Law. How we wish we could have that
same kind of strength in our own relationship!”); Nanay Luz (“Isla Puting bato
community organizer, to remind us of what we are and who we’re for); Former
Inquirer editor Cookie Micaller ("She’s someone who has helped me understand my
work better"); Rep. Francis Escudero (“Because he was cool enough and kind
enough to volunteer”); Chit Agcaoili and Fidel Agcaoli of the National
Democratic Front (“Super cool couple, our friends. Hindi madamot sa payo at
gabay"); Dr. Reynaldo Lesaca (“His best advice is that he hopes we
would never need his professional help); Tita Dara ("Beng’s ninang sa binyag, they’re very close");
Mang Gerry Acuzar("He helped Beng get through that tortuous thing called the
Medical Board Exams"); Dr. Bien Lumbera
(“Nationalist artist, need we say more?”) Josie Lichauco (“She convinced me to
be firm in setting the date of the marriage. So supportive right from the
moment I started panicking”); and Betina Legarda (“So kind and helpful, yet
sometimes she’s more hardcore than we are. She never fails to surprise me”).

With hope, happily ever after

Nato and Beng will not be going on honeymoon after the
wedding. “No time for that. We’re both busy with our respective
organizations’ preparations for the
upcoming activities against the ASEAN
conference. We have a meeting the day after the wedding, preparations for Human
Rights Week. Maybe after the rallies in Cebu, maybe not in Cebu. We’ll see. We’re just
looking forward to the rest of our lives as a married couple. We’re just
happy,” he says.

  Beng has a more pragmatic, but happily hopeful view of
what’s in store for them.

           “Tag-hirap,
pero nahanda na namin ang isa’t isa sa
ganitong buhay at na-realize ko din na andaming nagmamahal sa amin, at kapag
alam mo kung bakit kayo magkasama, magiging madali na ang lahat. Ang importante,
nagtutulungan ang isa’t isa, pag babagsak na ung isa, andun naman ang isa para
mag-angat.”#

—–

Congratulations and best wishes, Nato and Beng! Good luck with your plans to have two kids!

I have a headache. I watched four episodes of ‘House’ one after the other, and strained my eyes.
I wish so much that every doctor in the Philippines was like ‘House.’ No, I don’t mean that they be mean, miserable bastards and bitches, but that they become so obsessed with helping their patients get well that they will not stop at anything to find cures and to push for health reforms and demand higher allocations for public health.
I like ‘House’ much better than ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ because the former focuses more on methods and processes in the medical industry than on the personal lives of the characters. You learn about the characters and become familiar with their personalities through the way they do their work, and how they react to each other and to their patients.
‘Grey’s Anatomy’ is more of a soap opera, and the plot revolves more around the personal conflicts within and between the characters, than on their work.
—–

It drives me nuts that Imelda Marcos has become a fashion icon. It makes me think of a hundred reasons for homicide.

What does it say about the ruling elite in the Philippines that they have fully welcomed and renewed their embrace for the heirs of the former dictaror? What kind of values are they promoting, what kind of…morality… do they now treat Imelda Marcos as an icon, even if only for fashion.

She and the other heirs of Marcos represent all that’s decadent in the culture of
the ruling elite. They take pride in their personal histories, nevermind that the larger, more objective history of the nation and the Filipino people denounce them as a family of thieves and human violators. They have neither apologized for their crimes nor made amends for them. It’s so unthinkable that they are still allowed to run for office, to flaunt themselves and their wealth (the main source of it stull ill-gotten) in public, and now to promote themselves as standards (even if only for fashion).

Their brains must be programmed a certain way that makes them completely shameless.

—–

I love Michael V. He spoofs Macapagal-Arroyo so realistically it’s insane, and his jokes are so pointed. His GMA has buck-teeth and stands four-feet tall, and he has GMA’s hand movements (finger pilantik gesticulations) down pat. I wish he’d have an hour-long show spoofing GMA - the ratings would hit the roof.

—–

Today, the Philippine Daily Inquirer’s editorial cartoon featured Ka Bel and Gringo Honasan being nabbed by Malacanang.

Ka Bel was understandably upset by it because he felt that the PDI lumped him together with Gringo who has, from the beginning, never denied his involvement in military uprisings and coup de etats.

Ka Bel doesn’t have any contacts in the military, and he never met much less made plans  with any military groups (or any other group for that matter) for the ouster via coup de etat and forceful military takeover of the Arroyo presidency.

For the Inquirer editorial cartoonist (and the Inquirer itself) to put Ka Bel and Gringo Honasan in the same category of coup plotters and militarists is quite unjust. Ka Bel will never coordinate with the military over anything. He has allergies, so to speak, when it comes to the military. His friends and kasamas in the Kilusang Mayo Uno (KMU)  Ka Lando Olalia and Ka Leonor Alay-ay were  killed and brutalized by members of the RAM in 1986.

"Hindi ko makakalimutan iyon. Kahit pa may mga miyembro ng militar na may mga mas mataas na adhikain para sa bayan, o hindi sila mga pasista na basta-basta na lang pumapatay ng masa, hinding-hindi ko magagawang makatrabaho sila," he said this morning.

This is why it’s simply ridiculous that the DOJ and the Arroyo administration continues to accuse him of being one of the masterminds of the failed February coup de etat. There’s no logic to the accusation.

—–

It’s Ka Bel and Ka Osang’s 50th anniversary today. Their Golden, and it’s so terrible that they have to spend it at the Philippine Heart Center where Ka Bel remains detained. They had been looking forward to a celebration with all of their children, granchildren, the rest of the family blood and chosen since last year, long before Ka Bel was arrested.
Every day is like the same for Ka Bel inside the hospital. He gets up in the morning, eats his breakfast, takes his medicine, does his exercises (he’s becoming too much like a butete, he says), reads the newspapers. Then he receives guests, and his doctor who checks up on him and his blood pressure and heart rate ever so often. The rest of the day he reads.
To some people this might seem like the life — a good routine that doesn’t involve stress or much exertion. But this is what Ka Bel’s days are like every day, and have been for the last eight going on nine months.
For someone like Ka Bel who has always been an energetic sort , this schedule, this regimen, is pure torture.
Ka Bel, up to the day he was ‘invited’ by the CIDG to Crame and then illegally arraigned, was always  up and about talking and meeting with different people, working hard at his notes and reading materials (briefing papers, bills and resolutions, speeches and statements) , yet at the end of the day still has time to visit ailing friends and comrades; tend to his garden of kamoteng kahoy and corn; play with his younger grandchildren and  greatgranchildren and consult with Ka Osang with the problems at the house (busted pipes, the threat of termites, possible weaknesses in the roof or ceiling construction).

He is small but strongly-built man with a high level of energy and a vast propensity for kindness and humor. When Ka Bel laughs, wrinkles form around his eyes, and they are friendly wrinkles that perfectly complement the way he laughs — like a baby being tickled, giggly; and his shoulders bob up  and down in tempo with his laughter.

Ka Bel, perhaps unknown to many, is also an emotional man; a person whose feelings are easily touched. He can’t say no to people who ask him for help. His wallet never has any money in it because he gives everything to Ka Osang, and  because the money that’s supposed to be his allowance he gives to people who walk up to him and confide their problems — they need money for medicine, for births, for burials, for tuition of their school children,  for food, for rent.

There are nights when he can’t sleep (literally), thinking about work and he gets so angry and frustrated because of all the bad things that happen to Filipinos because of the government’s
programs and policies. He has insomnia, and it can get really bad especially after he hears of reports of political killings and the statements of DOJ secretary Raul Gonzales. His blood pressure rises and then everyone gets freaked because he might pop another nerve in his brain.

So today is his 50th wedding anniversary, and he had been so happy thinking about it  last year when we first brought the idea up of holding a celebration beyond the simple dinner he was thinking of throwing for Ka Osang.

Now, well, he’s detained, and he’s 73, and he shouldn’t be experiencing all this aggravation and stress and instead be living a more laid-back life. But this is the life he chose, and this is the life he wants, and we should all work hard to help in Ka Bel’s release.

On November 26, Ka Bel’s 11 children, grandchildren, friends, colleagues and staff will be sponsoring a modest gathering for Ka Bel and Ka Osang in Balai Kalinaw in UP Diliman. Ka Bel’s lawyers have filed a motion in the QC courts to allow Ka Bel to leave the Heart Center and join Ka Osang in Balai Kalinaw and accept the well-wishes and expressions of love and concern fom people who have known, looked up to and loved them all these years.

———–

Been watching DVDs of ‘House’ and the series is so addictive. I try to limit myself to two episodes every other night because I really don’t have much time to waste (the time I do have to waste I spend blogging, gad); but I end up watching three and then Kim asserts his husbandly authority and comradely concern and tells me that I should be working (on real work, or on rackets).

Things I like wasting time on (so it’s really a waste of time in the end)

1. Playing with our doggies

2. Reading new novels

3. Blogging and reading friends’ blogs (There are five blogs I follow regularly, guess whose)

4. Going to the ukay-ukay stores

5.Watching old movies I’ve seen before

6.Sorting out my bowl and plate collection

7.Emailing friends

8. Sitting in a coffee and tea bar talking with friends or simply being with Kim

—–

Ka Bel likes

1. Boxing

2. Nice and sturdy notebooks with strong backing

3. Heavy duty pens (Parkers are the best)

4. Movies about boxing

5. Books on political economy; histories and biographies of great leaders

Ka Osang likes

1. Stuff for the house

2. Photo albums

3. Cologne

4.Nice slippers

5. Flowers

——

Congratulations to Nova and John whose second child Ginger was born last Saturday

Countdown to Nato and Beng’s wedding on the 22nd

—–

Am cooking dinner.
How perfectly banal and how perfectly nice that sounds! Am cooking chicken penne vegetabl soup from scratch, and the kitchen smells nice.
Kim says that he has always wanted me to be a housewife. No, no - please stop raising those eyebrows. I myself would’ve wanted to be married to someone who liked being a housewife is I were a man or lesbian. I truly think that keeping a house that looks like those IKEA showrooms is a wonderful achievement, akin to, say, writing good essays. I don’t mean that the house, the home you keep has to have expensive furniture (not that IKEA furniture is expensive, they’re not really) - but to keep the house clean and fre from too much clutter is a feat and something to be quietly proud of.
(As you can tell, some of my values have been influenced by Louisa May Alcott’s ‘Little Women.’)
Anyways, Kim says he likes it that I like keeping house.
I enjoy cleaning the house. I like weilding brush and mop, broom and detergent bottle. I like scrubbing the floor,  there is fulfillment in washing the dishes and wiping down the kitchen tile and sink. When I tie the garbage bags, I do with happy firmness (because all the enemy dust and trash are trapped inside).
But I am far from being a good housekeeper. No matter how hard I try, at this point I still can’t get the pots to gleam, or to make sure that there are no water marks on the glasses. The floor doesn’t shine, and there are still cobwebs in some corners. I cratched the teflon pan, and there’s bits of sandwich spread stuck to the bottom of the toaster. Ants still to congregrate aroud the coffee maker and I don’t know why.
But it’s a daily thing. I think am getting better. Practice, practice, practice - the way surgeons do.

——

I miss Natalie Merchant and the 10,000 Maniacs. I took out my MTV 10,000 Maniacs live recording tape (tape! remember them? I used to go around lugging tapes with me to play on my Walkman. all that seems so long ago, it’s funny.) and listened to Natalie sing ‘Because the Night’ and "Jezebel.’

To continue to slumbook questions (i was sent them, they’re funny.They’re supposed to make you pare yourself down to the basics):

Seven songs I will always love listening to

1. All songs from the Indigo Girls’ ‘Rites of Passage’ album

2. Innocence Mission’s "Sweep Down Early

3. The Beatles’ "Here Comes The Sun"

3. Camera Obcura’s "I don’t Do Crowds"

4. Orange and Lemons’ "Kailangan Ka"

5. Frank Sinatra’s "They can’t take that away from me"

6.U2 ‘Walk On"

7. Toss-up between something by Tori Amos and Fiona Apple

Am currently reading three books (not at the same time, but alternatingly), Saul Bellow’s "More Die of Heartbreak," Peter Carey’s "True History of the Kelly Gang," and Moviegoer" by Walker Percy. I brought all three from a Booksale branch in Ayala, and I almost went into shock because all three were buried under the stalks and collectively they all cost under P500. I also saw a copy of Umberto Eco’s "Bandolino" for P175, but I already had one so I didn’t get it.

I wish I had the time to start watching the first two seasons of ‘House’ which Kim bought for me last week; but my discipline is still waging war against me so I won’t even begin. Not yet.Maybe come Christmas break - I’ll watch till my eyes pop out of their sockets and I’ve eaten so much kettle corn I’ll get rashes.

—–

I like to document these small things because they remind me that it is possible to be normal and to live normally. This is what the Kilusan is fighting for — the right for everyone to be able to live normal, regular lives. Meaning there’d always be food on the table, no need to worry about the next few weeks, or months and years even.

Someone I love very much grew up with very little and often had meals consisting of kanin and toyo. If they were lucky and there was money (the father got laid off from the steel factory where he was a machinist. There were frequent money problems in the company, and all the workers were at the management’s mercy all the time), they would buy cooking oil and fry tuyo. He went to college and graduated with honors only with food like that to sustain him. He was a scarecrow, and he had sunken eyes and thin cheeks, but he survived the harshness of poverty.