Achieving Happiness

Went to a dinner for my close friend and soon-to-mommy-for-the-second-time Novaleeh. She’s due anytime soon, and she looks like it: her tummy’s rounder than the full moon, and it felt very warm and heavy to the touch. Everyone at the dinner party agreed that she looked fit and fresh for a preggy woman, and she radiated peace and happiness. Her and hubby John’s eldest, Wystan, is now seven years old; and it’s a good thing that Wystan’s now old enough to truly appreciate having a sibling.
Nova and John are going to have a baby girl, and she will be named Ginger.
I’ve known Nova since we were 16, and together with our friend Elias, we’ve been through a lot of defining experiences: experiences that helped explain us to ourselves, and us
to each other as friends. They’re my oldest friends, and we’ve known each other before any of us really knew what each wanted to be, what each wanted from life and how to get it. It’s my first time to see and talk to both of them since I left for Hong Kong earlier this year; but being with them, it felt like not even a day passed between the last time we talked and now.
I find it infinitely comforting to know that I have friends like Nova and Elias who know me, flaws, craziness, neuroses and all. And I know them as well (I could blackmail both of them and get stinking rich if I wanted, hahaha). Whenever I need to look for a definition of friendship, I only need to think of them and I will get the best descriptions, the funniest annecdotes, and the most heartfelt recollections to illustrate what I mean. I can measure my self-worth in terms of how high or low their opinions of me are; because theirs are opinions that I also value especially when it comes to life-affecting, life-changing decisions.

I choose to share the best of me with these friends because I have also been allowed to expose the worst side of my nature and character to them as well. They know the stupid mistakes I’ve made (and I know the equally brainless steps they’ve also taken); they’ve seen me drunk and depressed out of my skull (and I’ve also been witness to the occasions when they were in their less than attractive emotional states).  Shared memories, common experiences, the unspoken agreement that even if we disagree with some of respective decisions in life, we will still be friends and nothing can change that. We will not tolerate each other’s mistakes, and instead be supportive and nagging by turns.  I have been quite lucky because so far, there has not  been anything that would would my faith, affection and trust in them. I fervently hope that neither have I done or said anything to undermine their faith, affection and trust in me.

We have chosen different paths in our respective lives, but different as the directions we may  have each taken, all paths are paved with the basic brick: a belief in wanting better things for other people; in trying to be of credit to the people whose opinions count the most to us.

Nova went around taking videos for baby Ginger; captured memories for Ginger as shared by friends who know her parents best. When it was my turn, I said that I would say something really incriminating about Nova, something that would warn Ginger and make her watch out. In the end though, this is what I said, and I sincerely meant it: "Ginger, there’s nothing at all wrong with your mom. She turned out really okay. I hope you grow up to be exactly like her, only less crazy."

I wish Ginger and her mom  a most wonderful first face-to-face meeting. May Ginger’s entry into the world — chaotic and full of grief as it often is — bring bliss and priceless happiness not only to her family but to everyone around her.

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This entry was posted on Saturday, October 14th, 2006 at 9:34 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.