Time to go home
This is my last night in Hong Kong, and tomorrow I fly home to the Philippines. I’ve been away for nine months, and for nine whole months I was able to write and write to my heart’s content (although never to my soul and mind’s satisfaction). I’ve missed my family and my friends and my dogs, and I’ve missed my work (although not the stress that went hand-in-hand with it).
I just came from a small dinner with my friends Chi and Cherry Brotonel at the IFC, and they kept asking me if I felt sad about leaving.
In all honesty, I don’t.
Well sure, I’ll miss the friends I’ve made here in Hong Kong — Raymond, the Brotonels, Jey, Ms. Belle, the other staff of Hong Kong News and the mother company Owtel; but on the whole, I feel relieved that I’m going home.
I know that this sounds strange to my friends here, given how violent and difficult life is in the Philippines (the traffic jams the least of the countless problems) and how seemingly endless the possibilities are for me for self-development; but I am too stubborn; I’m too set in my ways, inflexible even; I cannot survive very long away from my main source of personal strength and self-fulfillment.
My friends shake their hands and wonder.
I can only say that I miss my country and, despite my many shortcomings and weaknesses when I do it, I miss my real work.
I do not blame the Filipinos to choose to leave the country and build lives elsewhere. If I lived only for myself, I would, too. It’s the only way that I can explain it — a life I didn’t choose, chose me — and I cannot see any other life but this. The last nine months have been somewhat surreal to me, living on my own, deciding for myself, being physically removed from most things that gave me emotional and psychological exhaustion. I enjoyed myself, I was able to rest, I learned much. Now it is time to go home.
Am I a changed person?
Yes and no.
No because, well, I’m still me, silliness and seriousness intact; neurotic tendencies still present and accounted for.
Yes because I’ve become even more independent; more critical of what really counts in life, and less…prone to wanting material things. That’s quite ironic considering that Hong Kong is touted to be the shopping capital of the world; but after the first few weeks of going to market places and department stores and shopping arcades (Ocean Terminal is my favorite), I realized that I really don’t require much to be happy. The two boxes I had packed and sent home last week contained mostly books and CDs — second-hand and pirated copies.
All the furniture in the flat I rented in Lamma came from the garbage bins. Cherry’s mom, Tita Cynthia, dragged me out early mornings or late evenings to haul a dining table, two bureau-type drawers and a small cabinet from her neighbors’ trash pile. My second-hand television (which I gave to ate Wena, the Brotonel’s helper), was a gift from a friend.
The museums are free and open to the public; and so are the galleries and the Central Library. Some days I just sat in the park and ate take-out, watched middle-aged businessmen play with their model speedboats or their electronic cars. I watched movies at 9:30 am during weekends, when movies are half-priced.
I must, however, admit that I bought so many books and some of them weren’t cheap. I also ate out a lot because it was just too sad to eat at home alone. Aaaaargh. Oh well.
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What I will miss most
1. My friends
2. Toasted fruit sandwiches
3. TVB Pearl and Freddie the weather forecast cartoon mascot
4. Hot water from the shower
5. Flow, the second-hand bookstore
6. The big dogs in Lamma
7. The view of Hong Kong harbor as seen from the Central ferry station
8. IKEA
9. The toy stores in Wan Chai
10. Pok Fu Lam mountain trails
11. Fresh fruit (very cheap)
12. Eating lunch with my friends
13. Cake from St. Honore and Arome Bakery
14. Cinnamon rolls from Little Mermaid Bakery
15. Walch Freshenel body wash
16. HK Mag and the weekend editions of the South China Morning Post
17. The efficiency of the government offices!!!
18. The MTR that runs on time
19. Checking out Asiaexpat.com every morning and late afternoon.
20. The security guards and cleaning ladies of Shun Tak Centre.
