Relearning
I attended the September Twenty-One Protest (Oust Gloria!) yesterday, and it was a good way to restart my life here. I was very happy to see my friends and people I’ve admired and emulated for most of my life; but at the same time, there was an underlining of sadness to everything. Why? Because, well, I noticed 
that some of the leaders of the people’s organizations looked so…exhausted and older than their actual ages.
These are very hard and trying times. As I shook hands and hugged friends, some of them asked, seriously and kindly, if I was returning to Hong Kong any time soon.
The first few times I was asked that, I felt a little bad. I mean, did they want me to leave the Philippines again? They didn’t want me back? I didn’t ask that they jump up and down at seeing me again, but I thought they’d at least be a little glad.
Later on, I realized the reason behind the query: they wished me well, and since I looked better compared to before I left Hong Kong (I was less thin and sickly looking; I looked more cheerful and hopeful), living in Hong Kong did me good and I can’t be blamed if I wanted to go back.
I’m home, and I’ll stay home. I’m seeing my country and the Movement through new eyes now, and I am hoping so much that this time I will be stronger. I have with me the lessons of the last nine months — lessons on what the weaknesses in my nature are; what truly matters to me; and what I really, sincerely and truly need to be happy. I had to leave to realize all these things, and though I am still far from being an ideal specimen of humanity, I feel more confident that my next attempts to be a better person won’t fail so terribly.
The world is changing so fast even as we feel that nothing changes (poverty, exploitation, war and greed). I feel that my knowing how it is to live in an infinitely more developed place like Hong Kong helps me to be more objective in how I do my work and how I make my decisions, lay down my judgments. I will be more patient, even I try to be more resilient.
I have my friends in Hong Kong to thank for helping me make these realizations, particularly Raymond. There is never any need to feel hopeless or helpless: we just need to always be creative, always focused on our goals and to go around (not always through) the barriers that stand in our way. I’ll be less confrontational, and be more result-oriented; even as I grieve and rage against the injustice that has my country in a stranglehold, I will not weaken myself by dwelling on to much on the grief and anger. I will try to be more patient, circumspect, and care much less about the petty things that disappoint me about work and the people I work with.
No hot water
Traffic jams
flash floods
everything is so expensive!
old people begging for alms
naked two-month old baby crawling on the pavement
drinking coffee at Starbucks is a status symbol
Wearing Giordano means you’re cool
Billabong merchandise is sold at Rustan’s (In Hong Kong, they’re sold on the streets by hawkers, almost the same way the staff at Giordano sell their shirts, intoning with their Cantonese accents ‘Pili na suki, bili na, mura-mura lang’)
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I wonder what thoughts are running through Macapagal-Arroyo’s twisted mind as she reads and hears of news of what happened to former Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra. She’s putting up a brave front despite the embarrasing results of her European trip; and now she’s pretending to be completely unaffected by what’s happening in Thaksin and giving the safe and generic reaction that she supports all moves to restore democracy in Thailand. Stupid woman, trying to project strength and confidence by saying that the US is looking into stepping in and settling the conflict in Thailand. What, she saying that if similar actions were launched by the military in tandem with the people’s movement, Washington will swoop in and save her teeny butt?!
The smartest political minds in the country not allied with Malacanang must throw up every day, frustrated at the truth that everything that goes on in the current political struggle in the country is so transparently clear. Black and white contrasts, and the gray areas are very minimal.
The country has a president who has failed her mandate, who cheated during the 2006 elections, and has refused to acknoweldge that she has fallen so low from the public’s favor that her every word is considered either a lie or an annoying sound. She insists on staying in office out of sheer pride, and greed for power.
What’s so difficult to see about this situation?
What’s necessary now, the most important is to muster the greatest strength, the biggest number of people demanding that she step down NOW. History has taught this lesson twice already; and elsewhere in the world, the same lesson is being lived out against oppressive governments and systems: in Thailand, in Taiwan, in countries in Africa and the Middle East.
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Ind
igo Girls - Let It Be Me
Sticks and stones battle zones a single light bulb on a single
thread for the black sirens wail history fails, rose-colored glass begins to age and crack while the politicians shadowbox the power ring in an endless split decision never solve anything from a neighbor’s distant land i heard the strain of the common
man let it be me (this is not a fighting song) let it be me (not
a wrong for a wrong) let it be me, if the world is night shine
my life like a light well the world seems spent and the
president has no good idea of who the masses are well i’m one of
them and i’m among friends trying to see beyond the fences of
our own backyard i’ve seen kingdoms blow like ashes in the winds
of change but the power of truth is the fuel for the flame so
the darker the ages get there’s a stronger beacon yet let it be
me (this is not a fighting song) let it be me (not a wrong for a
wrong) let it be me, if the world is night shine my life like a
light in the kind word you speak in the turn of the cheek when
your vision stays clear in the face of your fear then you see turning off a
light switch is their only power when we stand like spotlights
in a mighty tower all for one and one for all then we sing the
common call let it be me (this is not a fighting song) let it be
me (not a wrong for a wrong) let it be me, if the world is night
shine my life like a light
