Archive for August, 2006

15 Times

Thursday, August 17th, 2006
Bullet_8strip_4050cbx Initial DZMM reports said gunmen shot dead Julie Velasquez, an official of the provincial chapter of the left-wing Kilusang Magbubukid ng Pilipinas, while attending a wake in Barangay Culong around 9:45 p.m.
The report said the crime scene was only meters away from a detachment of the Philippine Army’s 71st Infantry Battalion. It said the gunmen shot Velasquez at least 15 times using .45 caliber pistols and M-16 rifles.
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I wish I could write about how strange I find the shape of my finger and toe nails. Sometimes when I am clipping them I am slightly alarmed by how there are fine, horizontal lines on my cuticles. Years back there was an article in Readers’ Digest wherein a doctor said that people shouldn’t ignore their nails because the changes in their color, texture, strength and appearance can indicate how healthy or sick a person is.
It’s not surprising that I shouldn’t be healthy. I keep lousy eating habits (today I had  a glass of chocolate milk and a bacon sandwich, and all I can stomach to eat for dinner late is an apple and a banana. Maybe just a banana); I stay up late and wreck my eyes reading; I drink Pocari Sweat instead of water (which I find, honestly now, quite boring to drink); I don’t exercise anymore, and I don’t eat vegetables.
All this contribute to the way I’m messed up inside. Why I’m emotionally wacked out and easily drained.
And jeez if the reports from the Philippines don’t add to my general wacked-outedness. 
She was shot 15 times.
Fifteen times.
It’s not enough that they shot her and nevermind that after the first or second M16 bullet entered her body some vital organ had probably been crushed or shattered or completely disintegrated, they had to shoot her 13 more times.
Were they trying to destroy her soul? Her essence? Or whatever it was that made her believe so strongly in a different kind of reality for her country and her people? That gave her the strength and the courage to speak out in defiance of a vicious, corrupt and inhumane government? That helped her remain steadfast in her commitment to a cause greater than herself, and certainly greater than any campaign of extermination and terrorism that the killer government can push and implement?
I have lousy fingernails. And I havent washed these shoes I’m wearing since I brought them two months ago. I also need to get a better shampoo because my dandruff simply won’t quit ( it’s not exactly an avalanche, but even the smallest flake is annoying). There bowl of fruitsalad in the refrigerator has started to mutate, and the feathers in the down coverlet are poking out, causing me to scratch and sneeze.
Now here’s the police and the military saying that the NPA is also guilty of killing civilians.
How to they define ‘combatants’ anyway?
And is Amnesty International really a communist front now just because it released a comprehensive report condemning the Philippine government for over 700 extra-judicial killings, majority of whcih are unsolved and unresolved?
I can’t get over it: 15 times.
I googled M16 bullets and this is what came out: The M16 bullet has a muzzle velocity (velocity on leaving the gun) of 980 meters per second as compared to 870 meters per second for the M14 rifle and 720 metres per second for the Soviet AK-47 7.62 mm rifle, while at a range of 100 meters the velocities of the three bullets were 830, 800, and 630 meters per second respectively.
How’s that for a technical explanation. Were her killers conducting an experiment? Trying to understand a few concepts in physics?
Yesterday Manong Delfin Mallari of the Inquirer wrote a report about how the Armed Forces of the Philippines are conducting public consultations in Central Luzon to inform the citizenry about the evil NPA ("Battle for Hearts and Minds hurts kids"), and it was so …unreal… how …old-fashioned, how transparently stupid the methods and tactics of the AFP are in convincing Filipinos that they, the soldiers, are protectors and not enemies.
They force the people to attend the briefings under pain of being labelled an NPA supporter (and be targetted for immediate liquidation) , and then they try to make them believe that all they want is to protect civilians. They essentially take over the communities and harass civilians by forcing them to present IDs and cedulas; they threaten civilians against joining progressive political parties like Bayan Muna or Anakpawis or people’s organizations like KMP; and then they have the gall to say that all they want is for people to be safe and protected?
Ano bang klaseng kagaguhan iyan?!

Read this and freak

Monday, August 14th, 2006

Beer_bottled_asahi Last Friday night I went with Chi to the Underground concert of Indie bands over at the Edge Bar in Lan Kwai Fong. It’s a mothly thing they have at the Edge, and last Friday the bands that played were Innisfallen (my instant favorite), Spermatic Chord (experimental, messy, blows your ears and mind away) , !Slash! Sakura (a solo artist who plays a mean acoustic guitar and he gan definitely give John Mayer and Jason Mraz a run for their recording contracts), Shepherds the Weak (mala-Linkin Park band of pure Pinoys who grew up in Hong Kong. They sounded like Americans in stark contradiction with every else who spoke British, clipped tones and all) and the, um, just-got-out-high-school-type band the Susan Convention (I don’t have have anything much to say about them but this: they have nice black shirts).

Between swallows of bitter and kinda boring  Asahi Japanese beer (two bottles for $50, which is cheap, because beers in Fong usually cost $55), we lost ourselves in deafening guitar riffs and drum beats. Spermatic Chord has hippie, Indian influences, and while it must be said that their arrangements (they’re not really songs in the strictest definition of the term as the vocalists were ullulating or screaming  most of the time) were messy, their music was still eye-catching. It’s like being harpooned through the ears and pinnioned to the wall. After their 30-minute set, the audience had dazed expressions, like they were put under a trance and were just waking up from it. Chi and I didn’t succumb, however– we were too busy guffawing at how…ridiculous the vocalist Arthur Arquiola was being (but I suppose it was all part of the performance. He’s no Jim Morisson, though).

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Fidel_1 Cuba is such a thorn on the side of the US. Such a small country no more than 90 miles away, and yet it irks the US so much that it has imposed a trade and economic embargo that has lasted for no less than 40 years.

American newspapers such as the Miami Herald, the Washington Post and the New York Times are keenly and closely monitoring the developments in Cuba, particularly how Fidel Castro is recovering from this life-threatening operation.

Most of the articles are biased against Fidel, and  they drone on and on about how Cuba is a ‘repressive society’ and how Fidel’s dictatorship can caused so much ‘misery to thousands.’

Hmmm.

One of my biggest dreams is to visit Cuba and find out for myself what it is like to live in a truly Socialist country. I am most interested in how its healthcare system works, because I have read so much about how there’s a doctor for every neighborhood block, and how one can get a heart-transplant for free. There have also been reports that the Cuban healthcare system has overtaken that of the US (in contrast, US healthcare is deterioriating because of budget cutbacks).

It’s said that in Cuba, everyone has a family doctor. The government is capable of sending new doctors to work in the rural areas. The profits from the small tourism industry directly goes to the national health care program.

An American tourist who went there in 1994 still wonders why is it that in the US, it’s always the funding for public social programs that are whittled down whenever there’s supposed budget shortage and  need for austerity  measures. He wonders, ‘Do they have family doctors in every town of El Salvador or Brazil, or Mississippi for that matter? We even have a higher infant mortality rate in our capital than theirs.’

Reports have it Cuba has a world class biomedical research and development facility. As of year 2000, it is said that the country’s entire population has been made well-aware of AIDS and they have a stable anti-AIDS health program. Cuba is the only polio free country in the world, and it has meningitis-B vaccine that Cuban scientists have discovered.

Most reports about Cuba that flood the mainstream media are negative—but they cannot genuinely substantiate their allegations with facts and figures (there’s also an information embargo — reports that depict Cuba in anything other than a positive light are highly unpopular in the mainstream American press). They attack Fidel’s dictatorship for the sake of attacking it; and reports cannot state any concrete reason as to why this dictatorship that Fidel represents is should be vilified.

            Cuba and its people have survived the brutality and violence of the US government, and they continue to exist and prove to the world that socialism can succeed. Cuba has a higher literacy rate than the US, and unemployment is almost nil as everyone has access to education, jobs, pensions and healthcare.

It’s been said by Americans who have gone to Cuba and who have written about their experiences that the Cuban people have such an intense energy – pulsing with life and awareness of what they have achieved and what they continue to achieve as a nation. Everywhere, people talk freely about issues — everywhere you go in Cuba people talk about issues - the government, its policies, their views and reactions to these, complaints problems. There is a healthy political life and culture embedded in the communities. The people carry arms, not to protect themselves from their neighbors or antisocial elements, but from possible invasion or attack from outside forces such as the US.

There is poverty in Cuba, but it is a burdened shared by all. This is the kind of poverty that is inflicted not by a corrupt government or  by self-serving ruling classes, but by the vicious embargoes imposed by the US and its allies who aim to crush the spirit that drives Cuba— that which defends a way of life that exploits and oppresses the majority. The people may be poor (but not starving, dying poor like the homeless of Manila, or India) but they are well aware of the roots and causes of their poverty; and they face this poverty with magnanimity and strength.

As for its government, Fidel has done all that he can in defense of revolutionary ideals. Such a small country, yet it has faced such brutal enemies hell-bent on destroying what the Cuban people have succeeded, against all odds, in building.

This is something I got from an essay on Cuba by a philosophy teacher:

“Why do we hear about every person who decides to emigrate to the U.S., but never about those who give up on us and go home? Why do we hear about a few individuals in rafts, but never that they are sneaking-into the U.S. not in violation of Cuban law, but in violation of our law? Why do we hear about so-called political prisoners, but never that these people where imprisoned just after the revolution for waging war against people?

I can’t help but wonder: if a small, poor country like Cuba can do all that for its people with so little, why can’t we - with all our wealth - provide basic medical services to every American? "

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I stayed away from the internet the entire weekend and wrecked my eyes and gave myself a pounding headache watching DVDs on my laptop while lying down, so I missed a spectacularly offensive essay written by Isagani Cruz last Sunday. One of the egroups I’m in posted it, and as I read the lines I grew increasingly shocked and appalled.

How the heck did this piece get printed in the Inquirer?!
And holy gee, Isagani Cruz thinks this way?!!

Talk about losing in in public. This will hound him for the rest of his writing life. Was he drunk when he wrote this? Was he adbucted by aliens and given a lobotomy? What the hell was he thinking?!!

‘Don weAlien now our gay apparel’

Isagani Cruz

Page A10 of the August 12, 2006 issue of the Philippine Daily

Inquirer

HOMOSEXUALS before were mocked and derided, but now they are regarded with new-found respect and, in many cases, even treated as celebrities. Only recently, the more impressionable among our people wildly welcomed a group of entertainers whose main proud advertisement was that they were "queer."

It seems that the present society has developed a new sense of values that have rejected our religious people’s traditional ideas of propriety and morality on the pretext of being "modern" and "broad-minded."

The observations I will here make against homosexuals in general do not include the members of their group who have conducted themselves decorously, with proper regard not only for their own persons but also for the gay population in general. A number of our local couturiers, to take but one example, are less than manly but they have behaved in a reserved and discreet manner unlike the vulgar members of the gay community who have degraded and scandalized it. I offer abject apologies to those blameless people I may unintentionally include in my not inclusive criticisms. They have my admiration and respect.

The change in the popular attitude toward homosexuals is not particular to the Philippines. It has become an international trend even in the so-called  sophisticated regions with more liberal concepts than in our comparatively conservative society. Gay marriages have been legally recognized in a number of European countries and in some parts of the United States. Queer people — that’s the sarcastic term for them — have come out of the closet where before they carefully concealed their condition. The permissive belief now is that homosexuals belong to a separate third sex with equal rights as male and female persons instead of just an illicit in-between gender that is neither here nor there.

When I was studying in the Legarda Elementary School in Manila during the last 1930s, the big student population had only one, just one, homosexual. His name was Jose but we all called him Josefa. He was a quiet and friendly boy whom everybody liked to josh but not offensively. In the whole district of Sampaloc where I lived, there was only one homosexual who roamed the streets peddling "kalamay" and "puto" and other treats for snacks. He provided diversion to his genial customers and did not mind their familiar amiable teasing. I think he actually enjoyed being a "binabae" [effeminate].

The change came, I think, when an association of homos dirtied the beautiful tradition of the Santa Cruz de Mayo by parading their kind as the "sagalas" instead of the comely young maidens who should have been chosen to grace the procession. Instead of being outraged by the blasphemy, the watchers were amused and, I suppose, indirectly encouraged the fairies to project themselves. It must have been then that they realized that they were what they were, whether they liked it or not, and that the time for hiding their condition was over.

Now homosexuals are everywhere, coming at first in timorous and eventually alarming and audacious number. Beauty salons now are served mostly by gay attendants including effeminate bearded hairdressers to whom male barbers have lost many of their macho customers. Local shows have their share of "siyoke" [gay men], including actors like the one rejected by a beautiful wife in favor of a more masculine if less handsome partner. And, of course, there are lady-like directors who are probably the reason why every movie and TV drama must have the off-color "bading" [gay] or two to cheapen the proceedings.

And the schools are now fertile ground for the gay invasion. Walking along the University belt one day, I passed by a group of boys chattering among themselves, with one of them exclaiming seriously, "Aalis na ako. Magpapasuso pa ako!" ["I'm leaving. I still have to breastfeed!"] That pansy would have been mauled in the school where my five sons (all machos) studied during the ’70s when all the students were certifiably masculine. Now many of its pupils are gay, and I don’t mean happy. I suppose they have been influenced by such shows as "Brokeback Mountain," our own "Ang Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros" (both of which won awards), "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," and that talk program of Ellen Degeneres, an admitted lesbian.

Is our population getting to be predominantly pansy? Must we allow homosexuality to march unobstructed until we are converted into a nation of sexless persons without the virility of males and the grace of females but only an insipid mix of these diluted virtues? Let us be warned against the gay population, which is per se a compromise between the strong and the weak and therefore only somewhat and not the absolute of either of the two qualities. Be alert lest the Philippine flag be made of delicate lace and adorned with embroidered frills.

Relief operations not

Thursday, August 10th, 2006

The New People’s Army (NPA) and the National Democratic Front are being severely criticized because the NPA attacked a unit of the Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP) who were reportedly conducting rescue and relief operations within the danger zone of Mayon Volcano.

Malacanang has denounced the attack as ‘inhumane and terroristic’; and international newswire Agence France-Presse has released a story wherein it was stated that the NPA ‘has earned widespread condemnation’ for the act.

For their part, the NDF and the NPA have released statements clarifying the issue. Both the NPA and the NDF adhere to a set of rules governing the conduct of war and who are considered combatants and immediate targets. The NPA asserts that the soldiers who were targetted were not involved in the relief operations and were, in fact, active in counter-insurgency operations that have resulted in the brutal killing of two civilians — a student leader and a progressive pastor.

The following is the clarification of the NPA unit which led the attack against the soldiers:

Hindi nagbabantay ng evacuation centers ang mga sundalong inatake ng NPA sa Albay

Gregorio Bañares, Tagapagsalita
National Democratic Front of the Philippines-Bicol
Agosto 10, 2006

Isang malaking kasinungalingan at bahagi ng psywar ang lumabas sa mga pahayagan na inatake ng NPA ang ang mga sundalong nagbabantay sa mga evacuation center ng mga sibilyang apektado ng bulkang Mayon.

Desperado ang AFP na makabawi mula sa sunud-sunod na taktikal na opensiba ng NPA sa rehiyon kung kaya’t naglulubid ito ng mga kasinungalingan laban sa NPA.

Taliwas sa sinasabi ng AFP, hindi nagbabantay sa mga evacuation centers ang apat na sundalong nasugatan kundi bahagi ng mga sundalong nagbabantay sa kampo ng 901st Brigade sa Brgy Villa Hermosa sa Daraga, Albay. Ang kampong ito ay nasa hangganan ng Albay at Sorsogon. Napakalayo nito sa bulkang Mayon at hindi saklaw ng mga apektadong lugar at wala rin ditong kahit anong evacuation center. Ang tropang ito ng militar ay hindi rin tuwirang kalahok sa relief at rescue operations sa mga biktima ng Mayon.

Ang kampo ng 901st Brigade ay hinaras ng isang yunit ng NPA nitong Agosto 8, dakong alas-10 ng gabi bilang parusa sa sunud-sunod na pampulitikang pamamaslang sa Albay at Sorsogon. Ang pinakahuling biktima ng military death squad ay ang mga aktibistang sina Rie Mon Guran at Pastor Isaias Sta Rosa.

Ang NDF Bicol at ang rebolusyonaryong kilusan ay sumisimpatya at handang tumulong, sa abot ng kakayanin nito, sa mamamayang Albayanong biktima ng pagputok ng bulkang Mayon. Hindi target ng mga taktikal na opensiba ng NPA ang alinmang ahensya, grupo o organisasyong nagsasagawa ng relief at rescue operations.#

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These are paintings of my favorite Chinese artist Zhang Da Zhong. I saw these paintings myself when they went on exhibit last January when I first came here.

Stop the war against Lebanon

Wednesday, August 9th, 2006

Liban This report worried the hell out of me:

KUALA LUMPUR - Foreign Minister Syed Hamid Albar said Muslim nations should consider supplying arms to Hezbollah amid anger and frustration over Israel’s offensive in Lebanon.

Syed Hamid said Israel could not be allowed to act with impunity although it seemingly has ‘carte blanche’ in its operations.
‘Some are suggesting that we supply arms. Okay, we should look at all these things,’ Syed Hamid was quoted as saying by the state Bernama news agency.
Malaysia currently chairs the 57-nation Organization of the Islamic Conference (OIC).
‘The governments (of OIC) countries should look and we must not allow Israel to do what it wants,’ he said, but added that Muslim countries have to act according to international norms and principles.
Syed Hamid also criticized a United Nations draft resolution on ending the conflict which has been rejected by Lebanon because it does not call for the immediate withdrawal of Israeli forces from its territory.
‘I think we must not look at Israel only. We must also look at what Lebanon wants. I think it is unfair, imbalanced and unjust to just look at what Israel wants,’ he said.
‘The world should not be dictated just purely by Israeli desire but it must be incorporating justice and fairness in the international system,’ he said.
I sent this to a friend of mine (who also hates being named in my blog) and he freaked thinking that I SUPPORT an Islamic call to arms against Israel. Man, he sent this rant and I’m still a little upset about being misunderstood. Okay, I admit I was cheering Hezbollah during the start of the conflict, but I stopped immediately after because the civilian casualties mounted so fast and everything was terrible tears and blood and loss of the lives of innocents.
I thought I’d put the ‘retaliation’ of my friend here because I think it’s a heartfelt and intelligent (not to mention humane) way of analyzing what’s going on in the Middle East.

Both Hezbollah and Israel should be forced to stop the war against the Lebanese and Israeli people.

This is not about a war with Lebanon and Israel; it is clearly and has always been a war between Hezbollah without the consensus of the Lebanese people. The Lebanese people, I remind you, who have recently been able to get the strength to stand up and move to control their country’s destiny. Yet they have not yet been able to push to control their southern border with Israel, due to the strong arm tactics of Hezbollah and Syria. Remember it was the Lebanese people who have made the push to remove these forces from “THEIR” country – starting with the Syrian military. All Israel has done is take advantage of the weakening of Syria’s and Hezbollah’s control of Lebanon to move in.

So you can’t mix other peoples struggles with those of Lebanon. Lebanon has always been dragged into this fight, but never really supported the fight – So you really must look at who you are defending. You accept Hezbollah’s using the shield of Lebanon for its agenda, yet you don’t accept the other side for doing the same thing. You see I don’t support either side. They are both cowards in their fight. No one gave either of them the right to be in Lebanon or to use the Lebanese people as a shield for their cause.

The wrong that Israel has done, does in no way justifies Hezbollah for squatting in Lebanon for their fight and having 1000s upon 1000s of peoples bloods in their hands as well.

And the subject between Jews and Muslims is not complicated – it is the same stupidity as it always has.

And you shouldn’t take a Malay quote in a newspaper as an acknowledgement of Hezbollah – it is an acknowledgement and cry against the crimes Israel has committed in Lebanon. You shouldn’t make that mistake – I think you are smarter than that.

And yes when people only look at one side because of their own agenda, then they are also walking away; walking away from their responsibility to respect and care for all people even if it means casting a bad eye on what they might want to support. SO to justify some of this, is walking away from what is also a crime, and nothing to do with taking a stand. You seem to forget that in fact we are not talking about a country like yours where millions of people have no money and no opportunity to get money. It is a region rich with wealth and opportunity, but nothing is even developed except for an agenda to continue the life-long struggle to fight Israel for the sake of fighting.

If we are honest about this, then we will see that in fact Israel has been in retreat as far as the occupied land that they control. Could they cede more? Yes, but the general momentum has been to give up land, even at the cost of their face. So I have never supported Israel, but I do not see them as having been the aggressor over recent times. I would truly like you to show me where I am wrong with this generalization of the situation. We are talking about a small Muslim population and a lot of money that could be used to developing these lands for the people of Palestine and Gaza, but you can’t show me much action there, only action in the fight to destroy Israel.

Again, I do not support Israel and wish it was never drawn on the map, but I also do not support cowards on either side.

Liars’ guidelines

Friday, August 4th, 2006

Cockroach Malacanang has issued new guidelines regarding how government officials can lie by omission and keep mum when they’re being pinned against the wall.

Last July 23,  Malacanang issued Memorandum Circular 108, three days before the Senate hearing on July 31.

Whistle It gave the likes of executive secretary Eduardo Ermita and seven other officials a cast-iron excuse to boycott the senate investigations on the missing OWWA funds because the senate’s invite didn’t refer to specifics and there were no list of questions issued in advance for the officials to prepare for.

According to the new memo, department heads and other officials of the executive branch invited to congressional investigations must know the “possible needed statute” which is the reason for the  inquiry, the subject matter, and the questions to be asked.

This circular takes off on the Supreme Court’s declaration that so as to ensure that lawmakers do not abuse their powers and  badger and annoy the heck out of guilty government officials, Congress must include a script with the invitation. You know, what’s expected of the government officials, what questions they’ll be asked, etc.

According to a PCIJ report, the guidelines in the new circular direct officials to immediately forward the invitation to the President through the Executive secretary. It will be then up to Macapagal-Arroyo to weigh invitation and decide on whether or not it’s worth accepting, and whether or not the topic of inquiry is  within the scope of executive privilege.

Holy crap, who’s kidding whom? If everything were left to Arroyo, none of her cabinet officials or anyone working even remotely near hear favorite and more controversial agencies will respond to any summons from Congress. Mum’s the word, and let us continue our thievery, lying and corruption unrumbled.

This memorandum should be struck down and ripped to shreds. All it does is protect Macapagal-Arroyo and her cabinet, ensuring that they will never be held accountable for the monumental foul-ups and the countless courrupt acts they perpetuate day in and day out. They all just want to cover their asses as they thumb their noses at the senators and congressmen who genuinely want to get to the truth of the issues, say like the OWWA funds. 

It’s also stated that under the guidelines, the president must be given “sufficient opportunity” to consider the subject matter before allowing any official in the Executive branch to appear before Congress. This is outright obstruction of the congressional investigative process.

What does ’sufficient opportunity’ mean? A period long enough to make sure that the urgent issues die down and thus Arroyo and her officials get yet another respite and they get to heave sighs of relief - ‘Whew, I got through that one…"

What’s even more infuriating is that the guidelines are even more specific about the questions government officials are allowed to answer:

    Those which contain arguments

    Those which include offensive or unparliamentary language or expressions

    Those which pertain to matters sub judice

    Those which refer to the internal affairs of a foreign country or contain unwarranted discourtesy to it

    Those which seek an opinion on a question of law

    Those which relate to matters falling within the responsibility of another department head

    Those which repeat question/s previously asked and answered Those which violate the rights of officials as guaranteed under the laws and Constitution

    Those which are neither directly material nor pertinent to the subject matter of the inquiry or legislation

The circular also states that information covered by executive privilege must be kept confidential. During hearings, officials may ask for a “reasonable opportunity” to inform the President that matters being discussed may fall within the scope of executive privilege.

Like, hell-o?!!! Malacanang might as well be employing remote controlled robots and sending them to the congressional investigations with walkie-talkies. What, is everything a state secret now? Everything now falling under the category ‘inimical to national security’?

The moment that Arroyo’s henchmen open their mouths, they’re bound to expose themselves and the executive; so it’s definitely safer for them to just shut up. What does this imply for the congressional function of investigation and legislative inquiry? It will be rendered completely useless.

(Ah, but even on this point the Arroyo administration can be exposed and held accountable. Obstruction of the truth. Gag orders. Censorship. Pre-fabricated lies and arguments. Scripted scenarios. Everything’s a sham and a show.)

I’ve attended quite a few inquiries in Congress such as the one on the Hello, Garci controversy, and gad it was so frustrating to see and hear Garcilliano hem and haw and avoid and dodge, and everything kept going around in circles because the adminstration lackeys were helping the man evade the more pointed questions fired by members of the opposition.

The truth is such a rare commodity in this government, and because corruption and deceit are so rampant, so ingrained in everything, and almost everyone has something to hide and lie about because they’re in violation of civil service and criminal laws, everyone’s just desperate to keep silent.

Ang maiingay lang ay yung mga walang itinatago dahil hindi sila nagnakaw, nagsinungaling o nanloko ng mamamayang Pilipino. Tapos, dahil hindi naman sila mapatahimik, marami sa kanila ang pinapatay na lang. 

If you had nothing to hide, if you have nothing to be secretive about, why should you fear congressional inquiries? You just answer the freaking questions, tell the truth, and there’ll be results that are aimed to be beneficial for the public good. I know this sounds so simple and naive, but it really is just that simple. These government officials, this fake president, they’re all so despicably corrupt and they twist laws and manipulate government funds and they are keen on doing nothing but saving themselves, making sure they stay in office with their power and their influence, and to hell with the rest of the country.

Argh, government! Manufacturer of lies and machinery operated by liars.

Cigarette Story

Thursday, August 3rd, 2006

Lighter Quick, quick before the effect wears off I havta write this down before the feeling wears off and dissipates like (cigarette) smoke.

I just had my first two cigarettes in the last two years and they were great — aaaargh!

After lunch my friend Jey brought a pack of slim orange-menthol ciggies and it was too much for me to resist given my current state of mind –stressed, wacked-out and hyper.

I used to smoke back in college and cigarettes helped to calm me down and relax me. I was an on and off smoker, smoking only when I was with cigarrette-fiend friends the likes of Elias and Nova. Elias would finish two sticks before going to our creative writing classes, and after class he would smoke at least four more.  Talking and discussing the Anti-Imperialist League of which Samuel Clemens (aka Mark Twain) was a member, or the nihilist nature of William Golding’s Lord of the Flies, we sat like two Humpty Dumptys on the low wall fronting the Faculty Center and inevitably, he would light up and inevitably, I would also follow suit.

Ah, smoking. It felt great especially during moments of great stress, frustration and  annoyance. It was a massive relief, a pocket of cloud-lined comfort to inhale on a coffin nail and as I exhaled, I felt some of my problems losing their bite. Groovy.

I used to collect Cricket lighters, too. I liked the sleek black ones, and some of the ones that had funky designs of geometrical patterns or random swirls of blue and red. I smoked on the sly. I smoked alone and on my own. Sometimes in my room at home, or as I walked from the KMU office in Intramuros towards Taft Avenue.

I was supposed to have stopped after college, but occasionally I would still light up and enjoy the ritual of taking out my Cricket, flicking it and applying the red-orange flame to a waiting cigarette (Phillip Morris or Hope. If I were lucky, there’d be Capri, but they were expensive and I only got them from money-earning friends), inhale, relax, and exhale.

Was it cool to smoke?
No. But it was comforting. It took away my stress. My angry feelings subsided, and I felt calmer. I could focus on the ritual and then focus on what i was thinking about without going all ballistic. I regained my sanity in the midst of chaotic situations.

My mom hated it. She caught me one time as I lay on my bead chain-smoking, an aluminum ashtray swiped from some hole-in-the-wall Chinese restaurant in Quiapo balanced on my stomach. I had broken up with someone and I was rationalizing why I did, and smoking helped me clear my head even as the smoke itself filled the room and created a foggy atmosphere. My mom panicked because she saw smoke snaking out from under the door of my room so she walked in, fearing that there was a fire.

No fire. Just her daughter with a pack of cigarettes, a lighter and an angry expression (No I wasn’t angry at my mom, I was thinking about the person I broke up with).

I. Will. Not. Start. Smoking. Again.

grabe talaga ang mga balita sa inquirer. tapos papasok pa ang mga updates sa arkibongbayan at sa notogmawar egroup. makakaubos ka talaga ng ilang ream ng sigarilyo. para naman akong engot dito kasi wala akong agad na masabihan. 30 seconds ago i checked my email and another report just came in about a farmer-leader of the kilusang magbubukid ng pilipinas in albay was gunned down last night. kausap ko ang sarili ko ngayon at gusto ko na namang magsigarilyo.

Taktika din ng gobyerno na pagurin ang mga aktibista — pagurin sa galit at kakaiyak.

Nakakapagod umiyak. Nakakapagod magalit. Nauubos ang lakas mo, parang puputok ang mga baga mo dahil hindi ka makahinga. Sasakit ang ilong mo (lalo na kapag pinipilit mong pigilan ang paghikbi ), sasakit ang mga mata mo (dahil pinipigil mo ang pagbagsak ng luha) , at sasakit ang ulo mo dahil nalilito siya kung iiyak ka ba o hindi at nawiwindang na siya sa kakaisip sa mga iniisip mong pagpatay sa mga kasama at kaibigan at kapanalig sa paniniwala’t pakikibaka.

Dahil hindi ako pwedeng umiyak ngayon (dahil ako’y nag-iisa dito, at walang yayakap sa akin sa aking pagluha), magyo-yosi na lang ako. 

Clavels

"On July 31, 2006, unidentified elements of the State peppered her [Alice] and her husband Chandu with M-16 bullets after they brought their daughter Alexandra to school. Multiple shots hit her on the head, neck and shoulders. Like the fighter that she was, she fought hard to survive. Shot at 6:45 am and later declared dead at 12:45 pm, after overcoming eight (8) cardiac arrests."

Dr. Constancio “ Chandu Claver, a native of Bontoc is the Chairperson of Bayan Muna-Kalinga, and the Vice Chairperson of CPA-Kalinga.

Alice Omengan Claver was an active member of Cordillera student’s organizations, including CPA chapter in Manila while she was a college student. She had been very generous in her support to various peoples organizations and socio-civic institutions.

Holding back

Thursday, August 3rd, 2006

There’s this (Filipino) dink here at the office who kept making jokes this morning about Fidel Castro being dead already. He said that Fidel’s dying is a good thing for Cuba because America can now come in and ’save’ the country.

I am so proud of myself because I held back.

Actually, I was too stunned to say anything. I was so shocked that someone can  say such a thing and not be ashamed or disgusted with himself.

But there’s no point in arguing with the ignorant and the uninformed (yes, I’m being snooty right now.  I am angry, and I can’t say anything because it’s not worth correcting the other person’s …stupidity), so I will just write all this down and then get back to work.

Saving Cuba, indeed!

Yes, save Cuba and keep it safe from the US. That small island-country that has valiantly struggled to be remain socialist despite tremendous US pressure, black propaganda and economic and trade embargoes.

(My husband’s reaction was worse. I called him up immediately after hearing the office dink say that Fidel was dead. I asked my husband if he’d heard or read anything because I hadn’t — I clicked on newssites and there were no updates on Fidel re how he’s really doing after the operation. My husband got angry and couldn’t talk anymore so I just said bye. He told me to go to the dink and tell him to stop making his stupid comments.)

——-

MESSAGE SENT BY THE COMMANDER IN CHIEF TO THE PEOPLE OF CUBA AND
FRIENDS FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD

Fidel I can not make up good news, because that would be unethical; and if there were bad news, these will only be of benefit to the enemy.  Given the specific situation facing Cuba and the plans designed by the empire, the information about my health condition becomes a state secret that can not be continuously disseminated; and my compatriots should understand that. I can not let myself be trapped by the vicious circle of the health parameters that are constantly  changing during the day.

I can say that my condition is stable, but only with time could I speak about the true evolution of my health status.

The best I could say is that my condition will remain stable for many days to come before I could give a verdict.

I very much appreciate all the messages sent by our compatriots and by many people in the world.

I feel sorry for having caused so much concern and bother to our friends in the world.

I feel in a very good spirit.

The important thing is that everything in our country is going on and will continue to go on very smoothly.

The Revolutionary Armed Forces and the people are ready to defend the country.

Our compatriots will have a complete information in due time, as was the case when I fell down in Villa Clara.

We must struggle and work.

—–

Now I’m being accosted by my staffmates. ‘May nalalaman ka pa kasing resign-resign…’

It’s not easy to explain why I’m going back to the Philippines without sounding slightly demented.

Sa simpleng paliwanag, naki-kryptonite na ako dito,and I seriously need the sun. I’m getting to enjoy this lifestyle too much and I don’t think I should. If I were to move here pemanently and work and live here, I would have to stop reading newspapers and watching news on tv and keep away from all Filipinos permanently. No reminders, nothing.

Everytime I see a domestic helper, I am reminded that I should go home already. Isn’t that bizarre? This is the actual affect of being trained by the likes of Raffy Baylosis; to be inspired by people like Ka Bel, Ka Satur, Nanay Mameng Deunida, the union leaders of Hacienda Luisita, Ka Paeng and all the others. I am constantly reminded of where I should be and what I should be doing. Sometimes it’s tiring (I’m sorry, but it is. Having to live up to your teachers and mentors is not an easy thing; and failure is not at all difficult to achieve); but most of the time I feel very, very grateful that I have been allowed to be taught by them, to learn from their experience and to  be guided by their leadership.

I read the news today, oh boy

Wednesday, August 2nd, 2006

Lamma_1 It’s raining very hard here. Outside, the sky is gray and the ocean  below it is charcoal. The newspaper’s office is on the 17th floor of a respectably tall building right in front of Hong Kong’s famous harbor. Right now, this famous harbor is under a thick blanket of smog and mist, and most of the buildings that line the harbor have disappeared.

I am tired. I was tired the moment I turned on the computer and began reading my email. I am tired and sad because I never read any good news about the Philippines (or more correctly, when I do ready happy news they’re so small, so negligible victories and gladnesses that are easily snuffed out in the asphyxiating larger context of The Philippines As It Usually Is.)

Most days when Chi is here we read the news — myself jumping from one newswebsite to another; him flipping through the South China Morning Post. I would read headlines out loud in a sartorial voice: Another Activist Gunned Down. Impeachment Signatories Not Enough; while he would laugh at the small, often bizarre crimes that happen in Hong Kong: Grannies Hit Each Other With Umbrellas While Waiting For the Bus. Man Foiled Trying To Poison Ex-Lover With Sour Milk. Bomb Squad Called In To Dismantle ‘Bomb’ As Explosive Turns Out To Be A Giant Sausage.

Sana mga ganung balita na lang ang nilalaman ng mga diyaryo sa Pilipinas.

There are no shields thick enough to protect one from the violence of the content of the front pages of major Philippine broadsheets. Even the stories in the tabloids are the stuff of nightmares or long, sleepless nights.

On the rare day that I don’t click on the newsites first and I check my email, I also end up feeling choked or drowning. The personal email from my friends are cheerful enough for the most part; but inevitably they round up their letters with ’so I guess hindi ka naman nahuhuli sa mga nangyayari dito sa marahas na bayan natin, he-he-he’ or ‘Macapagal-Arroyo’s sick in the hospital. Let’s all pray she never recovers and dies.’

I should also subscribe to more cheerful newsservices. The ones that alert you to happy developments like ‘34-Day Old Baby Sings ABCs To Shocked But Proud Parents.’ Aaaargh.

I spent most of the day today writing a feature on labor export policy. This is why I have a throbbing headache. Going through data and stats, however, isn’t what caused my brain to clench like a fist (mixed metaphor, but what the heck am in a hurry to write this), it’s the usual affirmation of how black and white the problems of my country are in so many ways. The roots of poverty, the roots of forced migration, the social costs and the long-term effects on the people and the country are all entertwined and tightly so.

I literally feel like throwing up. It’s like knowing who the masterminds of a massacre are, but being powerless to bring in the criminals, much less have them punished.

Actually,this is the case.

No wonder I feel sick. Being aware and living in the Philippines or even just knowing what really goes on there is sometimes more than enough to make one fall ill.

Hmm. This is why I left the country six months ago. Anyways.

——————-

Is Harry Potter going to die in Book 7?

Right now I don’t really care, and that’s saying a lot because I happen to love Harry Potter (but not as much as, say, Oscar Schell in Jonathan Safran Foer’s Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close or is Incredibly Loud  and Extremely Close or Scout Finch of Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird). My close in CareBears have gone on strike today.

Right this minute  I choose not to care about the ozone layer, the greenhouse effect, toxic wastes being dumped in the ocean, mine tailings, the murder of Lebanese civilians by Israeli troops, Filipinos losing their homes in the floods, Filipinos losing their lives in the floods, endangered species likes tigers and certain types of terns, racism, sexism, homophobia, anti-Semitism, military operations in Mindanao.

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12-13-14-15-16-17-18-19-20.

Wow. 20 seconds worth of not-caring. I feel better already.

Slightly.

I want to have a Charlie Chaplin movie lie-in. Just sit in front of the tv and watch the Little Tramp twirl his bowler hat and his cane as he kicks off dust with his overlarge shoes. My dad and I used to sit together on weekend afternoons watching black and white silent movies of Chaplin and Buster Keaton, and there wouldn’t be any sound at all apart from the two us laughing. 

I feel very mortal and vulnerable right now. It’s cold in here and its cold out there and this evening as I make my way home through the wind and wet I know I will feel more than a little sorry for myself because there isn’t anyone waiting for me at the flat but the little Flip Flap plant on the windowsill: it’s the only thing that moves in the house besides myself.

————-

Finally, money for OFWs; Palace sends $150,000 LANG!!!!!!!!!
Griping envoy was ‘correct’ after all

By Gil C. Cabacungan Jr. Inquirer
Last updated 01:31am (Mla time) 08/02/2006
MALACAÑANG yesterday finally admitted that Ambassador Al Francis Bichara was “technically correct” in complaining that his embassy had not yet received fresh funds from Manila for the evacuation of Filipinos from Lebanon.

Foreign Undersecretary Esteban Conejos Jr. said that Bichara had only received on Monday, or four days late, the $150,000 the Department of Foreign Affairs had committed to send to Lebanon on July 27.

But Conejos stressed that Bichara should have not made a big fuss about it because he knew the money was on its way and that the delay in its delivery was inevitable because banks were closed on Fridays and Saturdays in the Middle East.

Conejos said the government had no choice but to hand-carry the $150,000 cash via Amman, Jordan, and Damascus, Syria, because banks in Beirut, Lebanon, had limited their dollar withdrawals to $25,000 per account.

“He (Bichara) was aware the money was coming. Technically, he might be right but then he knew in good faith that it was already on its way to Damascus,” said Conejos.

Conejos said Bichara had requested on July 25 only $50,000 to replenish his embassy’s funds that have been running low due to the stream of Filipinos seeking temporary shelter for their evacuation.

The DFA sent Undersecretary Raphael Seguis to Beirut to personally check on the Philippine Embassy’s cash position which was pegged at $121,369.89 as of July 26, the same day that Bichara wrote his letter of apology for causing inconvenience or embarrassment to the government when he claimed that the state had no money for the evacuation.

Release approved

Conejos said that the DFA immediately approved the release of $150,000 to the Beirut embassy on July 27 with Seguis and Bichara agreeing on how the money would be brought to Lebanon.

He said the DFA would have sent the money through the Citibank account in Beirut but since the war broke out, the Lebanese central bank slapped a 9-percent penalty on dollar withdrawals over $25,000.

Conejos said that he was pointing out this money trail not to show that Bichara was exaggerating on his embassy’s financial predicament but only “to lay down the facts.”

PhilHealth cards

In the same briefing, Overseas Workers Welfare Administration chief Marianito Roque debunked allegations President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo had authorized the transfer of OWWA funds to the Philippine Health Insurance Corp. for the purchase of PhilHealth cards that were reportedly distributed in the 2004 elections to boost her reelection chances.

Roque said OWWA did transfer P530 million to PhilHealth but this was in March 2005 and the money was used to facilitate the shift of the OFWs’ health insurance program from Medicare to PhilHealth.

Health Secretary Francisco Duque III confirmed Roque’s statement.

Duque said that he would resign if there was evidence that would substantiate allegations in the Senate that the PhilHealth cards were distributed in the 2004 election.

A gun aimed at every heart

Tuesday, August 1st, 2006

Kahirapan "Why not recognize a certain sincerity in the dictatorships that today opress the majority of our countries? Freedom of enterprise means, in time of crisis, the deprivation of freedom for people. Latin American scientists emigrate, laboratories and universities have no funds, industrial "know-how" is always foreign and exorbitantly expensive; but why not recognize a certain creativity in the development of a technology of terror? Latin America is making inspired universal contributions to the developments of methods of torture, techniques for assasinating people and ideas, for the cultivation of silence, the extension of impotence, and the sowing of fear."

Eduardo Galleano might as well have been writing about the Philippines.

There is no reconciling one’s self to the brutality that goes on and on in my country. It is like being caught in a recurring, never-ending nightmare. The government cannot silence the those who seek genuine freedom with threats and sanctions so it resorts to silencing them permanently with bullets to the head and chest. A bullet in every heart that beats fiercely in defense of higher aspirations and in defiance of social injustice; a bullet in every brain that dare dream of a better country where no one dies hungry, weakened by disease, strangled by poverty.

I’m becoming incoherent and my grasp of language is not enough to express how deeply angered and deeply anguished I am at what’s happening in my country. It is my country, and it is so unbearable for me that such things continue to happen in it day in, day out — the massacre of activists; the relentless rendering of the lives of the poor as worthless, useless, and completely doawayable.

Macapagal-Arroyo’s pronouncement in her last SONA that her government is acting on the cases of political killings and the murder of journalists is stinks of hypocrisy and deceit. It was like more salt into the numerous wounds of the victims’ families, friends and comrades. How can anyone even begin to believe her when she says that she is concerned over the killings? Her only worry is how the international media is picking up the story of how the death toll activists keeps rising like the mercury of a thermometer dipped in slowly simmering water.

When she said that she’s giving the Philippine National Police 10 weeks to solve at least 10 killings, I bet that PNP top-brass put up their feet on their tables and folded their arms behind their backs.

The Macapagal-Arroyo government is a threat to me and my way of life. It is, at this juncture, what immediately stands between myself and the country I want to live in; the kind of country I want other Filipinos living abroad can home to and never want to leave. This government embodies everything Filipinos should fight against and defeat; it represents the worse of what the Philippines and Filipinos can sometimes be, only on a 24-7 basis.

Macapagal-Arroyo wallows in lies the way farm animals wallow in mud. Under her facade of religiosity and dignity is a woman, a person who is so blinded by her love of power, so arrogant in her stance that she is more than willing to witness the extermination of hundreds of civilians who choose to speak out in denunciation of who and what she is: pekeng pangulo, sinungaling, magnanakaw, mamamatay-tao.

As I am due to come return to the Philippines next month; and it is with a measure of justified apprehension that I think about how my life will be like again. I am not ashamed to admit that I am more than a little worried for myself and what could happen to me (wala namang sinasanto ang gobyerno at ang militar — parang lamok lang sa kanila ang mga aktibista). The way, I think, all other activists are also worried for themselves (wala namang nagnanais na maging martir), their loved ones, friends, colleagues and comrades . None of us are bullet-proof, and when shot or hit by truncheons, the wounds do not close up heal like Wolverine’s.

To live in fear, however, is not an option. One cannot allow one’s self to be paralyzed because to do so would be akin to acknowledging the victory of this monster regime and its killer-henchmen. Activists can only be watchful and careful even  they continue to do their work, steadily and steadfastly, buhay man ay ialay.

Walang tatanggi na isang dakilang bagay ang mamatay para sa pinaniniwalaang adhikain; pero mas mahalaga ang mabuhay para dito.

—————-

July 26 - Ernesto Ladica, a Bayan Muna member from Salay, Misamis Oriental, shot to death. July 28 - Alberto Gonzales of Lopez, Quezon, shot to death

July 30 - Mario Florendo of Lupao, Nueva Ecija, a Bayan Muna member, shot inside his house

July 31 - Rie Mon Guran of Bulan, Sorsogon, LFS spokesperson, killed inside a bus

——————

Rem The song that always makes me feel better even on godawful days.

"At My Most Beautiful" by REM

I’ve found a way to make you smile
I’ve found a way
A way to make you smile

I read bad poetry
Into your machine.
I save your messages
Just to hear your voice.
You always listen carefully
To awkward rhymes.
You always say your name,
Like I wouldn’t know it’s you,
At your most beautiful.

I’ve found a way to make you smile
I’ve found a way
A way to make you smile

At my most beautiful
I count your eyelashes, secretly.
With every one, whisper I love you.
I let you sleep.
I know you’re closed eye watching me,
Listening.
I though I saw a smile.

I’ve found a way to make you smile
I’ve found a way
A way to make you smile